Almost
by FreakyC16
Summary: Castle and Beckett struggle with love, family, murderers, and stalking psychopaths. It's humorous, there is suspense, crime, some romance, and a little drama.
1. Chapter 1

_Why was he having this affect on me? He should not be having this affect on me! _I willed my cheeks to turn back to their original color. Hell, I didn't care they could be ghost white. Just not red, especially from blushing. All it was, was a kiss. That's it. No big deal. The world wasn't going to end. But they way his warm lips felt on mine. The way they moved. How his arms wrapped around me and- _Stop it, Kate! You were pretty much drunk. You couldn't account for your actions. _I didn't know how to feel. My mind was trying to be rational and my stomach just about filled up with butterflies every time I thought of _him._

I tapped my pen on my desk while last night kept replaying in my head. Over. And over. And over again.

I sighed and clenched my teeth together frustrated. I couldn't focus on this paper work.

I felt like a teenage girl that had no control over her emotions. I felt almost vulnerable and didn't how to think, how to feel.

_This is just crazy!_

I heard footsteps behind me. His footsteps. _This is bad. I know the sound of his walk. _He sat in his chair and had this smile on his face. He wore a navy blue button up shirt that was tucked in perfectly in his dark jeans. My throat tighten as I examined his chest and the tight sleeves against his strong arms that were- _Stop!_

"Kate-" he said but was cut off automatically.

"Castle, last night was a mistake." I said. I didn't even know what I was saying. I didn't even know why I was saying it. I knew that's not how I felt. Not at all. Then why was I saying it? "I was drunk. I drank to much at the haunt."

"You had two beers." he said. His eye brows knit together.

I could tell that I hurt him. The twinkle in his eyes was gone. Vanished. It was replaced with the dullness of the sad look he was feeling in the pit of his gut. Probably like someone gave him a blow when he was least expecting it. I regretted it immediately. I was starting to feel sick myself.

I didn't know what to say. I just had my mouth parted dumbfounded.

"I understand." he said almost awkwardly. Almost. "Well, I was just heading out. See you, uh, later."

"Castle," I said but he was standing up putting his coat on.

"Beckett, It's fine. I understand to the fullest." he put on the worlds fakest smile.

"But…" I said. He didn't hear. He was already walking away. Vanished like the twinkle in his eye.

* * *

><p><em>I should not be doing this. Why cant I be a coward and just call him? <em>I paced back and forth outside his apartment door debating whether to knock or just leave. I brushed my hand through my hair. I took a few deep breaths. _Oh, what the hell. _I lifted my hand and knocked twice.

"Did someone order something?" I could hear Castle asked just before he opened the door. "Beckett?"

"Castle.." I said and cleared my throat.

"What's up? Do you need something?" he looked concerned probably because of the confused, I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-doing look on my face.

"Ugh… I …" I sighed. "Do you want to go grab something to eat?" I asked.

"I actually just ate." he said. I would have considered it extremely rude if the concerned look wasn't still on his face.

"Maybe grab a beer or something?" I almost begged.

"Kate…" he said. "You don't have to be doing this. I understand how you feel-"

"You do? Because I don't even know how I feel."

"You don't want- wait.. What?" he asked. He turned his head around quickly to see how much privacy they had. Alexis was sitting at the counter on her laptop and Martha was making something. Probably a drink. Castle closed the door. They stood in the hall way facing each other.

"How can you know how I feel when I don't even know how I feel?" I repeated.

"I understood loud and clear earlier today." he said. He folded his arms over his chest and almost had a pouty look on his face. If I wasn't mad I would have laughed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked. I put my hands on my hips.

"Oh, come on Kate. 'It's was a mistake' doesn't take a lot of speculating."

"But… I.. I didn't mean it." I almost whispered. My hands fell from my hips. I lost all the control in the conversation when the guilty in my stomach started to rise to my throat.

"You didn't? It seemed like you did."

"Can we just pretend I didn't say it?" I asked beseechingly.

He looked away angry.

_Great! This is just great! I knew I should have just walked away like the coward I was. _

"Please." I said more sternly. My teeth were clenched together.

"Where you really drunk?" he asked.

I sighed. I blinked holding my eyes closed longer than necessary. When I looked up at him he seemed closer. "No. I wasn't."

"Then why did you say it?" he asked.

I shook my head. "It seemed like an easier explanation than all the rest." I bit my lip.

He almost smiled. Almost.

But the twinkle was back in his eye. Dancing like a ballerina.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I hope you enjoy it. This chapter is more on the fun side.. kind of. For reference underline is texting. But I'm sure you could have figured it out. It wouldn't take a scientist to figure that out. Please review... :) Oh and the chocolate cake was inspired by myself because i made one today... hahaha.**

_Oh yeah... and i guess i dont own Castle or anything... so... yeah. _

* * *

><p>We walked silently next to each other. I stuffed my hands in my coat pockets to stay warm on a cold night like this. All I could hear was the crunch of our shoes on the sidewalk and chatter of people around us. We were walking back from the <em>Old Haunt <em>after having a few drinks which in the end was joined by Ryan and Esposito.

"Is it not a lovely night?" he asked.

I looked up at him and smiled. "Well, maybe if it was warmer I would agree with you."

He put his arm around me. I gasped and tensed up. Not from surprise or anything but because of the shock that ran through me as he touched me.

He quickly pulled his arm away in that instant. I bit my lip and cursed to myself. I'm messing everything up.

"Castle.." I started.

"I'm sorry. I just cant- I'm sorry." He said.

I frowned. "No. Don't be." I said. "It's just that.." I sighed. "I don't even know any more." I shook my head. I pulled my hand out of my pocket and ran it through my hair. We were stopped and standing facing each other and I hardly even realized. "How can you be so sure of what you want?"

"How can you not be?" he asked. "When you love something so much why not just go for it? Not be rational and think about effect it will have on the future. Just go for it. Fight for it." His face softened.

He was leaning in. I didn't know why. Was I giving him permission with my eyes that I didn't even know I was doing? His breathing was faster than normal. He was hardly an inch from my mouth.

"Castle…" I whispered and took a step back. Why was I doing this? I was being so rational in the end I wasn't being rational. Why couldn't I just do what he was doing? Fight for what I wanted. I was fighting against myself and I just had to come to terms on what I really, really wanted. And I knew deep down what I wanted. I knew that if I fought for it I could have it. So why wasn't I fighting hard enough?

He didn't get the cue. If there even was one. He didn't care. He knew me better than I knew myself. He knew what I really wanted. He knew about the fight that went on in my head for self control. Some how he knew all these things. He took the step that was separating us. He pressed his warm lips to mine and I couldn't resist. His strong arms wrapped around me and I put my hands behind his neck bringing him closer.

"Get a room!" I heard someone yell from behind.

We broke apart and started laughing. He looked deep in my eyes. "Are you going to use the same excuse as last time?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I'm fully aware what I was doing."

He smiled and brushed his figures over my cheek. "Good." he said.

As we started walking I almost grabbed his hand in mine. Almost.

* * *

><p>It was Saturday morning and I did have anything to do which was odd because I always had something to do. I could have called Castle and invited him over but…<p>

I decided to bake something. I was a little worried because I didn't remember the last time I actually baked. I sat at my counter and flipped through my mom's cook book. I smiled at some of the recipes as they brought memories with them of me and my mom making them. I found a recipes for a Crazy Chocolate Cake and decided to make it because it was my mother's favorite to make.

I went through the recipes precisely step by step. I moved through my small kitchen making a mess as I went. I finally put the cake in the oven and set the timer. I cleaned up my mess and checked my cell phone. No calls but a text.

_Wonder who this could be? _I wondered sarcastically.

It of course was from Castle. Alexis is gone for the weekend and I'm bored. Want to grab something for lunch?

I texted him back with a dopey smile on my face I'm sure. Shouldn't you be writing?

I walked into my bedroom knowing I would probably end up giving in and going out to lunch with him. I scanned my closet finding a shirt I haven't had a chance to wear and decided to put it on.

My cell vibrated. It wasn't a text this time. He was calling.

"Hello." I said as I walked out to my living room to sit on the couch.

"So, how about I pick you up in one hour." he said.

"How do you know I don't have plans?" I asked. "I could have a date."

"Highly doubtful." he said.

I gapped. "Highly doubtful? Really. What makes you say that?"

"Oh, Beckett. Sometimes I think I know you better than you know yourself." he said being evasive. "Well, I guess if you don't want to go for lunch I could find a young blond to 'sign' her chest." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"What makes you think some young blond wants you to 'sign' her chest?" I asked dubious.

"Oh, trust me there are woman all over the streets that are dying-"

"You're a horrible liar." I said.

"You don't know I'm lying."

"You aren't even into blonds." I shot back.

"Have you been reading my fan-cites again." he asked.

I rolled my eyes and bit my lip trying not to laugh.

"Well, I will leave right now and got to your place." he said.

"I thought you said an hour?"

"I thought you said you had a date. Turns out we were both lying." I heard him laughing and then nothing. He hung up on me. I shook my head with a smile that played on my lips.

It was about fifteen minutes later when I heard the timer go off in the kitchen. I quickly got up to get the cake out. When I opened the oven door smoke rolled out into my face.

"Son of a-" I quickly got hand mitt and pulled the over done cake out of the oven. I choked a little on the smoke that filled my lungs. I threw the cake down on the oven top angry. I turned the oven off and picked the cake back up and brought it to the garbage can. I tried to empty it into the can but it crumbed out and half landed on the floor. I put the pan in the sink and when I bent to pick the cake off the ground there was a knock at the door.

I sighed as I threw most of the cake into the garbage and went to answer the door as I brushed my hands off on my jeans. Castle was standing there with his dopey smile which turned into disgust. "Is something burnt?"

"Nothing important." I said and took a step back so he could enter into my apartment that was filled with blue smoke.

He looked down and saw the cake that was on the floor. "Is this what you usually do on the weekends?"

"Yes. I Purposefully burn cakes and then throw them on the floor." I rolled my eyes and went back to pick up the cake.

He shrugged. "You could have a fetish for burning things... And throwing things on the ground." he bent down to help me. "What's the occasion anyway for a cake?"

"Just seemed fun." I said. I decided to tell him the whole truth. "It was actually my mom's favorite cake to make. Not because it was her favorite but because my dad loved it. We would always make it together." I shook my head. "I just haven't made it in forever. Out of practice. And plus this oven sucks."

"You could always come over and bake it at my place." he offered.

I almost accepted. Almost.

* * *

><p>We ended up getting Chinese take out and sat on my couch to eat it. We talked aimlessly. About everything and nothing. He kept asking questions about my mom. I didn't care for answering them, it's just that I knew it would have an effect on me later tonight that involved hard sobs and probably chocolate ice cream.<p>

"Are you curious?" I asked.

He looked over at me. "About what's under your-"

"No." I said and gave him my famous annoyed look. "Your father. Don't you ever wonder who he is."

"Well he had to have been pretty cool." he said.

I rolled my eyes. That pretty much ended the conversation. I knew he didn't really want to talk about it. We ate in silence for a minute or two.

"We should watch a movie. I could go for a horror movie." he said randomly.

I looked out window. "It's light as day. What's the fun in that? isn't the point of horror movies to be scared?"

"Fine we can save that for when it gets dark." he said and got up. "But I'm not watching a chick-flick." His cell phone beeped and he pulled it out for his back pocket. "Ah. Sorry, Beckett but it looks like I have to get going."

I frowned but then neutralized my expression. "Why?" I asked.

"Alexis…" he said. He didn't seem like he wanted to explain further.

"That's fine." I said even though I didn't really think it was fine. I bit the inside of my cheek.

"Rein check?" he asked.

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah." I said. "Horror movie."

"_Paranormal Activity_ is scary." he said. As he walked towards the door. I got up and followed a few steps behind him.

"Really? you thought so?" I asked.

"I slept with my light on.. For a week."

I couldn't help but laugh. "And here I thought you were butch Castle."

"Oh, I am… just not against demon possessed people." he said as he slipped his coat on.

I could tell he was almost going to kiss me. Almost.

_Damn._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: Bummer! I guess I don't own Castle...**_

_**:)**_

* * *

><p>I knew I wasn't going to sleep much, so I put on comfy pajama pants and cuddled in a blanket on the couch with a book. I did everything possible not to think. I tried to focus on the book as hard as I could, but the smallest things started to remind me of my mom. I gave up and put the book on the coffee table.<p>

Chocolate ice cream it was.

I walked to the fridge and opened the freezer and scanned it until I found the tub of chocolate fudge ice cream. I opened it up next to a bowl and spoon that was waiting ready to have ice cream dumped in it. My shoulders slumped when I saw that it was all gone.

I sighed loudly. I threw the tub away and decided just to go to bed.

It was pointless, though. I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep until late. I tossed and turned until three in the morning, when I finally fell into a deep, fatigued sleep.

* * *

><p>I woke up with a start. Something was pounding. I realized a minute later that it was a pounding at my door. My brain was not working fast enough. Good thing I didn't have to work that day. Well, unless I was called in, but I was praying that the murderers could hold off for a little bit.<p>

I crawled out of bed and, zombie-like, walked to the door. I'm sure I looked like a zombie too, but at that moment I couldn't care less. Maybe my face would scare them off and I could go back to sleep. Probably not.

I opened the door and rubbed my eyes. Castle was standing there with a smile on his face and, at that moment, I wanted to wipe it off with my fist.

His eyes widened when he looked down at my legs. He stifled a laugh.

The first thing that ran through my head was that I had forgotten my pants. My hands flashed down to my legs and I sighed in relief when I felt the material. So, it couldn't be that bad. I looked down. It was that bad. I had forgotten that I had put them on. They were a gag gift from Lanie for my birthday. It would have been better if I hadn't remembered my pants. I was wearing hot pink, Justin Bieber pajama pants.

_Oh crap! I was NEVER going to live this down. _

"I would never have pegged you as a JB fan." He bit his lip trying to hide his smile, but after a second he couldn't help it and started laughing.

"It was a joke," I said defensively and started to walk away from the door. "I highly dislike 'JB'."

"Then why are you wearing pajamas with his face all over them?" he asked as he walked in behind me and shut the door.

I shrugged and walked to my bedroom to change them. "They are very comfy and warm," I called from the bedroom. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"Remember the rain check?" he asked. "Well, that's why."

"You couldn't have called?"

"Well, I could have. But this was more fun!"

"Well, it is dark outside… only because it's six in the morning!" I said, walking back out of my room wearing yoga pants.

"We aren't going to watch a movie," he said.

"Okay then, what are we going to do?" I asked and folded my hands over my chest.

"Go ice skating," he said with that dopey smile of his hanging on his face.

"At six in the morning? Castle, if anything, I want to go to bed!" I said.

He shrugged. "I guess we could do that if you want."

If I had had something in my hands, I would have thrown it at him. "I'm tired and I haven't even taken a shower yet."

"That's fine. Take a shower and I will go get breakfast," he offered.

"What about my tiredness? How is that going to be fixed?" I asked. It was more of a rhetorical question, but he answered anyway.

"Coffee."

It was one word but it worked, because the next thing I knew I was taking a shower. I turned the knob so the water was scalding my body. It felt good and it woke me up. When I was finished, I quickly got ready, hoping I would get done before Castle got back with the food. When I walked out, Castle was sitting at my kitchen table reading the newspaper. I must have taken longer than I thought.

When he heard me walk out, he smiled, not even looking my way. "I got pancakes with blueberries. Your favorite," he said.

"How did you know…," I started.

"Never mind that." He cut me off and opened the Styrofoam lid of the box that contained fluffy pancakes layered on top of each other. My stomach growled at the sight and my mouth watered.

I sat down across from him and grabbed a plate. He put pancakes on my plate and handed me the syrup. I added it lightly and handed it back to him. It was more like he ate pancakes with his syrup. They were smothered in it.

"Oh," he said as he reached in the pocket of his coat that was hanging on the chair and pulled out a CD. "I got this for you," he said, as he handed it to me.

I looked at the cover and was considering throwing it at him, but then I would ruin his face and I didn't want to do that. It was a Justin Bieber album.

I gave him a threatening look.

"I thought you would like it," he said innocently.

"If you tell Esposito and Ryan, I'm going to shoot you," I said.

"What's to tell? I thought you said you weren't a fan?" I gave him one last eye roll before I devoured my pancakes, which were amazingly delicious.

* * *

><p>We were walking down the street on our way to the skating rink. I carried a back-pack on my shoulder that contained newly bought ice skates. Castle had wanted to carry it, but I had told him that I was a big girl and could handle it myself. Every minute he would ask to carry it and I would say no.<p>

We stopped at a coffee joint to get coffee to go. He ordered and we stood waiting next to a woman and her little girl that looked about one or two. The mom was reading a magazine and the little girl with big brown eyes kept looking at Castle.

Castle leaned down towards her. "Hi," he said. The little girl's eyes widened in fright and her lip quivered. She started to cry and gripped onto her mom's leg. Castle straightened up automatically.

The mom gave Castle a nasty look. She picked up her daughter and walked away.

"Smooth," I said.

"That's weird; kids love me."

"Not as much as you love yourself," I said and walked up to the counter as the worker produced our coffees. I picked them up and handed his to him. I drank mine as soon as I had the chance even though it was blisteringly hot.

Right when we exited I was about to go back in for the back-pack that I must have left in there. I looked over at Castle to get his attention and noticed the back-pack on his shoulder.

_What the hell?_

Castle smiled when he realized I had seen what he was carrying. "I thought you would have noticed sooner, considering you are a detective and all."

I ignored that comment and walked next to him. A moment later I asked a question that I had been dying to know since the day before when he had left my apartment abruptly. "So, what was up with Alexis?"

He shrugged. "She was hanging out with some friends and they ditched her on purpose at the mall… Well, that's what she says. She called a taxi and when she saw that I wasn't home she was upset and needed someone to be with her."

"Girls are heinous. So cruel and selfish," I said. "Does she know why they ditched her?"

"There doesn't need to be a reason," he said angrily. Not at me but probably at the girls that had ditched Alexis.

"She wouldn't tell me who they were." And then a smile formed on his face when he thought about his daughter that he loved so much. "She will still protect them from me, even when they did something wrong to her."

"What would you have done?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know. Probably called the school to get their parents' names and call them."

"That's what you would have done? Tell on them? Her so-called friends would have not liked her any more, if you had done that."

"Well, I'm not going to go beat them up or anything," he said.

"Well, she really is a great girl."

"She is, isn't she? She has her ups and downs but what teenage girl doesn't?"

"You should be lucky she isn't like me when I was a teenager," I said and gave him a playful smile. My teenage years involved piercings, motorcycles and sneaking out with boys. Castle was very lucky he had Alexis. If she had been anything like me, he would have gone insane. Well, it would probably have been a taste of his own medicine. From what I had heard, he wasn't the best of teenagers either.

"Or like me," he said, like he was reading my mind.

* * *

><p>Not only did Castle <em>have <em>to carry the back-pack, he _had _to pay the $16 that it cost to get in. We sat on a bench at the Wollman Rink and laced up our skates. He got up first and stood in front of me, holding out his hand. I took it so he could help me to my wobbly feet.

"I haven't done this in forever," I admitted. The last time I had skated was with Will, my ex from the FBI, but I wasn't going to tell him. This was our thing now. Not some old boyfriend's.

He raised his eyebrows. "I can tell."

"Thanks," I said, with sarcasm lacing my voice.

"Just don't let go of my hand and you won't fall."

I wasn't going to admit how much I liked that idea. His hand was securely wrapped around mine. I wasn't going to let go, and I'm sure he wasn't either. The next thing I knew we were gliding on the ice. Castle and I were in our own little world. I didn't register the people around us. It was as if we were the only ones out there.

"Why didn't you invite Alexis?" I asked him.

"She stopped skating when she was twelve. She says it's because she doesn't like it anymore but the real reason is because she fell and broke her wrist. There were a lot of tears… most of them from me."

We skated in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the time spent in each other's presence.

"So, I'm thinking about getting a dog," Castle said and looked over at me to see my reaction.

"I figured you to be a dog person."

"Because I'm manly," he said and raised an eyebrow.

"No, because of that scene in 'A Hail of Bullets' with the cats."

Castle laughed. "I'm surprised you remember that."

"So, where are you going to get it?" I asked.

"I think from Mighty Mutts. It would be more for Alexis, even though it will probably stay with me while she goes to college. The rule I'm giving her is that she can't give it a girly name like Sally or Cocoa."

I think Castle could tell that I was getting cold. "Let's get some coffee and then we can watch some movies at my place. For a horror movie, how about _The Grudge?" _

"_The Grudge?" _I asked. "Really?"

"_The Grudge _is scary."

"Yeah, maybe for a little girl."

"I'm hurt, Detective," he said in a melodramatic voice and put his hand over his heart.

I rolled my eyes and nudged him. We skated to the exit, but Castle yanked me to a stop and pulled me to him. He wrapped his arms around me, lifted me up and kissed my lips hard. I automatically kissed back. My mind swirled from the proximity of him and his scent.

When we broke apart, my face was warm and flushed. He ran his thumb over my cheek, which made me shiver and think of his hands all over my…

I almost kissed him again. Almost. But before I could even think about it, Castle was pulling me out. I smiled to myself, excited to spend the rest of the day with him.

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><p><strong>Sorry For you JB fans out there. I kind of bashed him. But anywho. <strong>

**Thank you So much Stroppy for editing/revising it... I appreciate it! :)**

**I hope you enjoyed it.. you can give me a review if you want *Wink* *Wink* :)**

**FreakyC16**


	4. Chapter 4

We sat on the couch very close to each other. There was a bowl of Butter Lovers popcorn that sat on top of us. Periodically, I would nibble on one piece at a time while Castle would shove a handful in his mouth.

It wasn't dark out yet but we closed the blinds tight and pretended it was night. We decided to watch the movie 'Drag me to Hell'. Castle said it had been sitting on his movie rack for some time, and he had never had the chance to watch it, so he didn't know if it was scary or not.

Well, apparently it was, because, not half way through the movie. Castle screamed like a girl and jumped, which sent the popcorn bowl flying, spilling popcorn all over me, the couch and the floor. We left the popcorn until the movie was over. The ending was really stupid. Something about a curse and a button in an envelope, blah, blah, blah.

I went and put up the blinds as Castle got down on his hands and knees to pick up the popcorn. "That was an… interesting movie."

"You're a horrible person to watch a horror movie with," he told me, as he scooped handfuls of popcorn back into the bowl. I walked back towards him to help and got down on my knees, too.

"Oh yeah?" I asked. "Why is that?"

"You don't get scared. You have to scream, jump. It's fun,"

"Fine, next time I will scream for you," I said.

"Well, make sure it's actually a scary part, so it's authentic."

I looked up at him and didn't realize how close his face was. He might have gotten closer on purpose because at that second I leaned in and kissed him. I didn't expect it to get hot or heavy but that's what it ended up being. My fingers were laced through his hair as I held him tight to me. His hands wandered on my back, pushing my shirt up a little. We were still on our knees before the couch.

I didn't even hear Alexis come down the stairs. "Dad- Oh gosh! … I'm sorry," she said, with eyes wide open in terror.

We broke apart instantly. My cheeks burned red. I got to my feet as did Castle the same. "Oh, uh.." Castle stammered, not knowing what to say. So much for a man of words.

"We were just …" I tried to explain.

"It's fine. I understand," she mumbled her eyes still wide. "I was just.. um… going." She quickly turned around and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Castle asked, being the father that he was. I could tell he cursed himself for asking and making her stop.

Alexis cringed and stood in place, not wanting to look back. "Studying with Lindsey."

"Okay," he said. "Be safe."

"You too," Alexis said automatically, not even realizing. She opened the door and quickly scurried out.

"Well that was …"

"… awkward!" Castle finished.

"She was going to find out sooner or later,"

"Find out what?" he asked.

I sat down on the couch and he sat down also. "Ugh …" Then my cell phone started ringing. Literally, I was saved by the bell. I almost sighed in relief, but I held it in and answered my phone to fast to see the caller ID.

"Beckett."

"Got a fresh one," It was Esposito.

"Great." My face fell. "Where?"

"6th Avenue in Central Park. The Wollman skating rink," he said.

"Oh god!" I looked over at Castle.

"What?" he mouthed.

"What?" Esposito asked.

"I was just there… Castle and I went skating there."

"Why were you and Castle ice skating together?" Esposito asked.

"Never mind. We will be there as soon as possible." I hung up my cell and stood up.

"Dead body?" he asked.

I nodded. "Someone was murdered at a skating rink. The skating rink that we were just at."

* * *

><p>Castle held the yellow "crime scene" tape up so I could go under. We walked side by side to where Lanie was. She was leaning over a body, examining it. The snow around the body was stained with blood. It was a male the size of Castle. Esposito walked over to us to give us the scoop.<p>

"Two teenagers snuck away from a birthday party that they were having at the rink to have 'fun' in the woods. Well, they didn't have all that much fun. They were walking and noticed someone on the ground and then the blood, and so they called 911. No one heard or saw anything."

I nodded and looked over at Lanie. "What do we have?" I asked, standing at the foot of the victim.

"John Doe, late thirties …," Lanie started.

"No ID?" I asked.

"No, there is an ID," she said.

I cocked my head and gave her a questioning look. "Okay?"

"That's his name, John Doe."

"Seriously?" I asked. "So, how was … ugh … Mr Doe killed?"

"His throat was cut. It cut some of the veins and arteries, and the windpipe, which caused his lungs to fill up with blood and suffocation to occur. But the blade was dull. Maybe a cheap pocket knife or …"

"Ice skates?" Castle asked.

"Yes. That could also have been the weapon," Lanie said and motioned her head to behind them.

Ryan was a few yards walking towards them. In one of his hands he was carrying a white ice skate that was covered in blood. He shook his head in disgust when he stood next to them. "People are getting even more demented and stupid. They threw this in a garbage can not a block away."

"Maybe he didn't care," Castle suggested with a shrug.

"Or he is just stupid."

"Get that to CSU and get it swept for prints and DNA."

Ryan nodded and started to walk away as he stuffed the skate into an evidence bag. I looked back at the victim to see if I had any recollection of him. If I hadn't been so caught up in the moment, I might have seen him. I might even have seen the murderer. I cursed myself for being so unobservant.

"When did he die?"

"I would say in the window from noon to three. When I get him back to the lab, I can get a smaller window."

"Thanks, Lanie." We started to walk back.

I looked past the trees and I could faintly see the skating rink. "Castle he could have been murdered when we were here and I didn't even know. We could have skated next to the killer and not even have known it."

Castle stopped me by grabbing my arm. "Kate, you couldn't have had any idea that John Doe was going to be murdered here."

"But it feels like I should have," I replied and started to walk away. Castle would never understand the responsibilities of being a cop. How guilty you feel when things like this happen.

* * *

><p>"Mrs Doe, I'm very sorry for your loss," I said. I sat across from a woman who was in her early thirties. Her eyes were rimmed with red from tears. She sniffled every few seconds. "I know it's hard to lose a loved one, but we have questions that we need to ask."<p>

She nodded understanding.

"Where were you today from noon to three?" I asked.

She straightened up. "Am I a suspect? My husband was murdered and you have the audacity to ask me where I was?" The upset look on her face turned to anger.

"Ma'am, this is just procedure, we have to ask," I told her as calmly as I could.

"I was out with a few of my girlfriends. We went and got mani-pedis," she stated and held out her hand to prove it. Sure enough, her fingers were perfectly manicured.

"What salon did you go to?" I asked. I held my pen over my note pad, ready to write.

"Parlor, on 102th Avenue B." she answered.

"And who exactly were you with?"

She gave me their names and I wrote them down under the name of the salon.

"Thank you," I said and left the room, with Castle following behind me.

"Are you sure her name wasn't Jane?" Castle asked.

I gave him an annoyed look.

"Sorry. That's right; you get crabby when you don't have a suspect."

"It's hardly been an hour in this investigation."

"Well, usually talking to a loved one we get a suspect."

"Yeah, a suspect that leads nowhere."

"But it's still a suspect."

"Are you sure you don't have plans? Shouldn't you be home with Alexis?" We were back at my desk and I checked my phone for missed calls.

"I'm sure she will be out because of what happened earlier," he said and cringed.

I gave him an understanding shrug and tried not think about the look on Alexis' face when she saw us…

"Ryan," I called to him from across the bull pen. "Check out Mrs. Doe's alibi." I walked over to hand him the piece of paper with the info on it.

"Do we have anything on his financials?"

He looked at a note pad. "Nothing that jumps out at me."

"And he had no priors?" I asked.

"Just a few unpaid speeding tickets, but that's it."

"Well, this is just wonderful." I walked back to my desk. "We have nothing."

"Kate, I think you're taking this too personally. Murders go unsolved all the time," Castle tried reassuring me. "Sometimes there is just nothing."

"There is always something. There is always a motive." I sat down at my desk. "I just have to find it."

"Ryan, where are we on getting the security camera footage?" I called to him.

"Well," he spoke hesitantly. "They're fake."

"Can we get a recoding from a street camera or anything?"

"Esposito is working on that now. But, from the angles they are facing, we probably won't get anything besides a figure walking away."

"Keep working on his financials," I told him. "I'm going to go talk with some of his co-workers."

Ryan nodded and went back to work.

"Come on, Castle. Let's go find us a suspect."

* * *

><p>We entered the doors of a vet clinic and walked to the front desk. A woman in her late twenties sat behind it. She was reading a book and didn't notice us until I cleared my throat. She looked up and closed her book and, sure enough, it was a Richard Castle book. Wonderful.<p>

"Oh. My. God!" she gushed. I looked at the name plate which read Sandra Hendricks.

"Yes. I'm Detective Beckett and .. well, I'm sure you already know who this is," I said, gesturing towards Castle.

She nodded, still looking at Castle. "I'm a huge fan!"

"Do you think we could talk in more of a private area?" I asked, ignoring her gushing over Castle.

"I can't believe he is dead," Sandra said. It seemed like she was more upset by this loss than his wife. "Everyone loved him. He was great with humans and animals, and people respected him."

We were in an empty check-up room because this was the only place that was secluded enough. It was clean, expect for dried blood on the floor that was missed when someone cleaned up, and it smelt like dog.

"Did he ever mess up an operation and the owner got mad?" I asked.

She thought about for a few seconds. "No, he was perfect," she declared, as she shook her head, which made her blonde, curly hair bounce.

"How long have you been sleeping together?" Castle asked.

I looked at him with wide eyes. "Castle!" I hissed at him.

"What? No. He is married," she interjected a little too defensively. "We.. No."

I started to get the impression that she was lying. That they had indeed been sleeping together.

"Ms Hendricks, you know it's against the law to lie during an on-going investigation."

"I mean, we never really slept together…"

"But you were in love with him," Castle finished.

"His wife treated him horribly," she said, as if that justified it. "She spent all his money, and I'm sure she had her number of affairs too."

"I'm sorry but we have to ask. Where were you from noon to three today?"

"I was here. I haven't left all day."

* * *

><p>"So, if his wife didn't love him why didn't she just divorce him?" Castle asked as we exited.<p>

"The money," I asserted, as we walked side by side on the sidewalk. It was starting to get dark. I was probably going to go back to the precinct for another hour and then call it a day. I obviously wasn't on my game and me being exhausted wasn't helping.

"No, she could have easily found someone else with more money," he said. "Maybe she hired someone."

"He was worth more alive than dead," I said. "and they didn't have a pre-nup."

"Well.. damn!" Castle exclaimed. If Castle couldn't come up with a wild theory, then we were screwed. He pushed the button to cross the street and waited for it to say 'walk'. Castle started to walk out on the street before me. I was a few feet behind him.

I heard the car before I saw it. The tires screeched and the engine roared. My head whipped left. A black car with tinted windows was driving fast. Too fast. In the back of my mind I thought it would slow down and come to a stop before the crosswalk. But when it was a few yards away that thought was gone.

I don't think Castle even realized the car was there. Who even knows what he was thinking?

You know how in movies everything goes in slow motion? Well, the opposite happened for me. Things sped up. The only thing I could hear was screaming. It was my screaming. I was yelling for Castle to move. I didn't care where, he just had to get out of the way of the car. He started to turn towards me but was only able to turn half way around when the car that slammed into him. The last thing I saw was the shock on his face that was illuminated by the bright lights of the car. He went flying sideways.

The detective in me kicked in as I pulled out my gun and started shooting at the car that kept speeding down the highway. It didn't even slow down. One bullet hit a window, which made the glass shatter. The car swerved a little but kept going. I looked for a license plate number but there wasn't one.

There was no doubt in my mind that it couldn't have been an accident.

I pulled out my cell phone. I barked orders into the phone as I rushed over to Castle. His limp body was lying on the side of the road motionless.

* * *

><p><strong>You are probably think "Holy Crap. That was a horrible cliff hanger!"<strong>

**Almost as bad as the main character's boss dying and then the main character getting shot herself and then the other main character telling the one that got shot that loved her... Almost that bad but not quite. HAHA**

**And this week is finials week for me.. so I don't know when I will get the next chapter done. So you may be in the dark for a wittle bit ;).**

**Freaky.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey! So i'm pretty sure i failed all my finals.. haha just kidding. Well, here is chapter five. And at one point you will see - ~*~*~ which means that it's not Beckett's perspective. :) **

**Hope you enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle... Nor do I own Beckett. LOL**

* * *

><p>I paced back and forth in the ER waiting room. My hands were shaking from the adrenalin that was being pumped into my system. It was the only thing that was keeping me going. I was ready to pass out. I couldn't get the image out of my head. The way his body flew. The way it hit the ground and rolled. The look on his face before he was hit.<p>

Those could not be the last images I had of him alive. I was supposed to have a future with him. I was supposed to love him. He was supposed to love me. He could not go dying on me when I needed him the most.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I tensed up. I turned around, expecting to see a doctor with a grim look on his face about to tell me that they had lost him, but it was only Espo and Ryan.

"How is he?" Espo asked.

I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair. "They won't tell me a damned thing!"

I just about yelled.

"How long has it been?" Ryan asked.

I shrugged. "Long enough."

"Where are Alexis and Martha?"

"Alexis is with friends and Martha is in New Jersey. I couldn't get hold of Alexis. And I just told Martha to come home and that it was no big deal."

"You didn't tell them, Beckett?" Ryan asked. "Their son and father could be dying and you didn't tell them?"

"I didn't want them to worry and hurry home, getting themselves killed in the process and have a family funeral!"

I looked over and saw a doctor walk out of the doors towards us. "Detective Beckett." he stated.

"Is Castle okay?" I interjected. "Is he alright?"

"There was some bleeding in his head, but we think we have it under control…" he started.

"You think?" I asked. Espo put his hand my shoulder, not for comfort, but to tell me to back off a little.

"We still have tests to do but we think he will be fine. It was only a small bleed. But…," he said.

"But what?"

"There is still a possibility that he could go into shock or a coma. And there is still a chance it could be fatal."

"Slim chance though, right?" I asked. He didn't give me an answer so I pushed harder. "Right?"

"It's hard to say," he said, a little intimidated. "Other than that, all he has are a few broken ribs and his left radius is broken. And his breathing is labored from his left lung being punctured"

My cell phone started ringing. "Excuse me," I said. I don't know where my manners came from since they had been nowhere to be found a few seconds before that.

"Beckett," I answered.

"Beckett, I got your voice mail," It was Alexis. "Is something wrong? Is my dad okay? Did he get shot?"

"No, he wasn't shot, but I think you should get in a taxi and come to the hospital," I said and I hated myself for having to tell her like this. "I will explain when you get here."

"Is he okay?" she asked again. I could tell she was on the verge of tears.

Damn it! She was going to make me cry.

"Alexis, I will explain when you get here."

I heard Martha in the background asking what the matter was. "What is going on, dear?"

"Let me talk to her, Alexis," I ordered.

She didn't say anything and gave the phone to Martha.

"Detective Beckett?"

"Yes, Martha. I think you should come down to the hospital."

"What? Why?" she asked, her voice getting high.

"It's not a big deal. He is fine."

"Richard? He is in the hospital?"

"I think it would be best if we could talk in person."

* * *

><p>I sat outside Castle's hospital's room door and tapped my foot impatiently. Martha and Alexis were with him. I hadn't seen him yet and it was killing me. He was conscious and I could hear their faint voices. I was shocked that he hadn't asked to see me yet.<p>

Esposito and Ryan didn't wait around as they wanted this "Dirt Bag" found. Castle was part of the 12th family and they weren't going to sleep until the people behind this were caught. I wished I could be with them, but they said that I should see Castle and go home and get rest. Since when could they boss me around? Well, apparently now, because I was following their orders.

A gentle hand rested on my arm and I looked up in alarm.

"You can see him," Alexis said, with Martha behind her.

I smiled at them and walked into the room. Castle was in a half-sitting, half-laying position on the bed.

I didn't want to admit it, but he looked like hell. His face was bruised and scratched. A few of the vessels in his eye had popped. But, of course, his hair was still perfect. How was this possible? Well, it was Castle.

"Hey," I said. I hesitated a few steps away from the bed.

"I look like hell," he said, as he shifted a little, which made him moan. "and feel like it, too."

"You look butch," I said.

"Come here," he ordered. I walked over to him and sat in the chair that was positioned next to his bed. He took my hand.

"I was so scared," I said. I caressed his cheek with my finger tips. "I didn't know if I was going to lose you."

His other hand caught my hand and held it to his cheek. He brought it to his mouth and kissed it. "I won't ever leave you," he said.

"Who would want you dead?" I asked, my voice quiet.

"Maybe my book sales have gotten better than Patterson's," he hinted at with a raised eyebrow. A smile spread across his lips.

"Castle," I scolded. "This is serious. Someone wants you dead. I'm getting security at your door for the time you are here."

"What about…"

"Yes, there will be someone with Alexis and Martha, too."

"I couldn't think of anyone that would want to kill me," he told me. "Well, there was this guy that cut me off yesterday and I gave him the bird."

"Castle, stop playing around! This is serious!"

"You want my theory?" he said. "What's the likelihood that someone is killed when I was in that same spot an hour earlier, and then me getting hit by a car?"

"You think that it was supposed to be you killed at the park today?"

"Could be. Who knows?"

"We have to find him before he can actually…."

Castle touched the dark bags under my eye. "You need to get some sleep," he said.

"I don't want to leave you, though," I whispered.

"I never said you had to." He scooted over on the bed, clenching his teeth so he wouldn't moan in pain for my sake.

"Castle, you were just hit by a car and you are asking me to sleep with you?"

"I'm not asking, I'm telling." He gave me an eyebrow shake.

"How about I sleep in the recliner that is in the corner over there?"

"Beckett…" Castle said. He was sounding kind of dopey and sleepy all of a sudden.

"Someday I will get you in bed." He stifled a yawn.

"Since you are heavily medicated I'm going to let that slide," I said and kissed him softly on the cheek as I stood up.

* * *

><p>I was woken up by the vibration of my cell phone in my pocket. "Hello?" I said groggily.<p>

"Beckett?" Esposito asked.

"Hey."

"How is Castle?" He asked.

"Good," I said. "I think the only thing really injured is his ego."

"That's great. So, Ryan and I just went through Castle's desk…"

"You did what?" I hissed.

"We asked Martha; she said it was okay."

"What the hell?"

"Gates told us to," he said. He sounded kind of guilty and I was sure I wasn't making him feel any better.

"Why didn't you just say you didn't find anything and not even bother?" I asked.

"That's what we were planning on but then we were like, what the heck, might as well. We thought it would be fun. You know, going through his stuff."

"And you found something."

"Yeah. That's why I am calling."

"Yeah, I kind of figured since it's four in the morning." I quietly got up and snuck out of the room. "So, what did you find? And this better not be about dirty magazines."

"Oh, we wouldn't tell you about those. Even though there were a lot…"

"Get on with it." I ordered.

"I think Castle was investigating your mother's case still." he said.

"It's probably just old stuff."

"No. He has new facts written down and dated. Names. Addresses."

"What was the most recent date?" I asked.

"You really want to know?" he asked.

"I am asking, am I not?"

"Two nights ago."

"Son of a bitch."

I hung the phone up, walked back in Castle's room, without even thinking about what I was doing. I flipped the lights on. Castle started to stir. "Castle!"

He blinked a few times and popped his eyes open. They were squinty because of the bright lights. "What?"

"My mother's case? You were still looking in to it!" I was angry. Not exactly at Castle, but just at the whole situation in itself. "I can't believe you were doing that when you promised, you promised, Rick! Do you know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed. But you're going to get yourself killed! We agreed not to look into it for a while… but you lied."

I was finally able to look at him. He had a pained look on his face. "I wasn't trying to be a hero…. I was just trying to …"

"… get in my business, like always?" I asked, my face burning red.

"No… I was trying to be a friend…" He seemed confused, like he didn't know why I was so upset. Like it was no big deal that he was going against my wishes. Hell, he was going against his own wishes.

"By lying to me?" I asked.

"I was trying to protect you," he said.

"This is my job!" I almost shouted. "I protect people. It's not the other way around, Rick." I turned around and was about to walk away.

"Kate, if you think me getting run over is about your mom's killer, you're wrong." Castle spoke quietly. "I was looking into her case still, but I wasn't going around asking questions. No one could have possibly known I was still looking into it. And running people over isn't really their M.O."

I turned back around. "That doesn't change the fact that you lied to me."

My heart ached. He had betrayed me. Something that was so important to me and he was hiding it from me. It was almost worse now, now that I trusted him so much.

"Kate, you need to understand. I wasn't just doing this for you. I was doing this for the people that love you. Your father? How would he feel if his daughter was murdered just like his wife? Your mom."

I

flinched. "Castle." I clenched my teeth together. "You are way out of line."

"Please…" he said. "I'm sorry. I won't keep looking into it. I will burn the files if that's what you want, but I won't give them to you. I won't put you in danger."

I finally walked over to him. I laced my fingers with his. "We have to find out who tried to kill you."

He squeezed and I squeezed back. "I really am sorry."

"I know."

* * *

><p>"Bro, you have no idea who wants you dead?" Espo asked.<p>

Ryan and Esposito had snuck in Chinese and the four of us were chowing down on it. Castle was in an upright position on the bed. He still looked horrible. His lip was slit open, and there was a stitch in the corner of his eye, a bruise under his other eye, and a road burn on his cheek.

"I don't know…" Castle said hesitantly.

"Well, why would the killer have thought that John Doe in the park was you?" I asked.

"He was wearing a black coat. I had a black coat on. He was about my height. We had the same hair color." Castle took a bit of his food but most of it fell back down out of the clasp of the chopsticks. "I guess someone could have mixed us up."

"Really, bro? You guys didn't even look alike," Espo said.

"And plus he was like thirty. What? You're like forty-five," Ryan chimed in.

"If I wasn't pretty much strapped in this bed, I would punch you."

"You guys, well, girls, stop this girly fighting. We have to figure this out." I got up from my chair that was positioned a few feet away from the bed and walked to the garbage can to throw the rest of my food away. I suddenly didn't have an appetite. "Who the hell wants you dead?" I folded my arms over my chest.

"What about fan mail? Anything disturbing?" Ryan asked.

Castle was quiet for a second or two.

"Dude, do you even read it?" Esposito asked.

"Well, I haven't had time lately." Castle shrugged.

"Who reads it?" I asked.

"No one, we just kind of throw it in a room."

"Wow, you're such a dedicated author that loves his fans," Esposito said sarcastically.

"Hey, I have been very busy lately."

"Well, obviously not with writing."

All of our heads turned to the door. Gina was standing in the doorway. She was looking stunning, of course, with a red pea coat that was open to reveal a short black dress.

I bit my lip. A surge of jealousy settled in my stomach and then rose to my throat. I didn't want to admit it but, yes, I was extremely jealous. I shouldn't have been. I mean, they work together, they are divorced. Castle didn't love her. Who even knows if he ever did? But none of that mattered.

"How did you know?" Castle asked. He had a smile on his lips that was amused, which didn't help the jealousy that was rising in me.

"You expected a famous writer getting hit to stay out of the media?"

"Liar, Mother called you."

"So what if she did. It's still in the papers." She threw a folded up paper at Castle. It hit him in the forehead and fell in his lap. He opened it, and on the first page was a picture of him. The same picture of him that was on the back of 'Heat Rises'.

"How do people already know about this? It happened hardly a day ago." I looked over at Gina. She looked at me for the first time.

"Probably a doctor or a nurse, maybe even a janitor, gave them the story." Gina took off her coat which showed that this wasn't going to be just a short visit.

"Well, we should get back to the 12th," I told Ryan and Esposito. "Don't want Gates to have a heart attack."

"You guys are leaving already?" Castle asked.

"We actually have work to do," Ryan said.

"I work."

I was pretty sure everyone in the room gave Castle a dubious look.

"I'm a best selling author." he protested. "And what's up with pick on the guy that was run over?"

I laughed and started to walk out, with Ryan and Esposito following behind me. "See you later, Castle."

* * *

><p>I was in the middle of filling out paper work when my cell phone started ringing. I saw that it was Castle. "Castle?"<p>

"Hey. Beckett."

"What's up?" I asked. I wanted to ask how long Gina had been there for, but I didn't. When I thought of her, jealousy started to bubble again.

"The doctors say I'm good to go."

"Really? That's great."

"They just said, if I was getting bad headaches, I should go back in. Do you mind giving me a lift home?" he asked. "If not, that's fine. I could just call a cab."

"No, no. I can bring you home." It made the jealousy subside a little, knowing that he was asking me to bring him home, and not Gina.

* * *

><p>He sat outside in his car on the other side of the street and watched them. He didn't bother slouching low because of the tinted windows. He was eating sunflower seeds and would spit the shells on the floor not giving a damn. He could just hire someone to clean it up if he wanted.<p>

He saw Kate get out of the car first and go over to the passenger side to help Richard Castle out. He got out slowly and leaned on a crutch. She put her arm around him to help him walk a little steadier. He walked with a limp and his left arm was in a cast. What a baby.

He ground his teeth together. Richard Castle was supposed to be dead. He shouldn't be alive. And he shouldn't have his arm around her. His lover. His soul mate. She was supposed to be his. She wasn't supposed to be in love with this man. He was a bastard. A coward. She deserved someone better.

He thought back to her old boyfriends, Josh and Tom. He didn't care about those guys. Only because she didn't really love them. She didn't look at them the way she looked at this Richard. She didn't finish their sentences like she did for Richard. She cared about them, but not the way she cared about Richard Castle. She was supposed to care about him that way, not some writer.

He had done his research on Castle. Twenty-nine books. A daughter of the age of eighteen. A mother that was a struggling actress. Unknown father. He had been married twice, one of whom was his publisher.

What was so special about him? Why was Kate in love with him?

He didn't know those answers. All he knew was that he would have to put more effort in getting rid of him. Richard Castle wasn't meant for her. He was.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" I asked Castle as I fluffed the pillow that was on his bed. He was in the bathroom changing his clothes. The door was open a crack and I could hear him grunt in pain as he took his clothes off.<p>

"Alexis and Mother will be home soon."

I heard a clatter and then a bang. "Castle, are you okay?" I asked as I pushed the door open.

He was on the ground with his shirt off and sweatpants on. I was surprised he was able to get them on… and a little disappointed because I would have been willing to help.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine," he said with a grunt.

"I don't think you should be out of the hospital." I leaned down to help him up.

"I'm fine," he moaned, as he sat up and got to his feet with my help.

"You can't even dress yourself without falling over."

He held on to the left side of his ribcage with his right hand. It was badly bruised. Blue and black.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I ran my cold fingers over the hand that was on his ribs.

"It's not your fault," he said.

"But it feels like… like I could have done something to prevent this." I looked up to his eyes with my hand still over his.

Castle leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips. "Don't ever think that," he whispered in my ear.

I heard the apartment door open and close. Alexis was home and she probably wanted to spend some time with her father.

"I should go." I gave him a quick peck on the check and left.

* * *

><p>I decided to just go home. I didn't want to go back to the precinct to spend anymore late nights there. I was too tired from not getting a lot of sleep in the previous few nights. And I was sure a bubble bath was calling my name.<p>

The bubble bath made me think of my favorite ice cream, so, before I went home I went and picked it up with a few other things that I needed.

When I arrived home, it was dark outside. I locked the deadbolt behind me and brought my things to be my kitchen to be unloaded. I put the Ice cream in the freezer and left the other things on the counter to be put away later. All I wanted at that moment was to be in a warm bath. Then, maybe, I would watch the news with a bowl of ice cream.

After I got out of the tub, I dried off and slipped into an oversized hoodie and yoga pants. I sat down on my couch with a bowl of ice cream and turned on the TV. I was about to start flipping through the channels when there was a light knock at my door.

I set my bowl on the coffee table and got up. "Just a second," I called. I opened the door not three seconds later but no one was there. I almost cursed the person that had done this, but, when I looked down, I saw a vase of twelve bright red roses. A huge smile spread across my face. I stepped out in the hallway to see if the person was still out there but no one was. The elevator wasn't even descending. I picked up the lovely roses and smelled them.

I had a pretty good idea who they were from. I pulled out my cell phone and called Castle.

He answered on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

"Thank you," I said right away.

He was confused. "For what?"

"What do you think? They are beautiful." I smelt them again.

"Beckett, I don't know what you are talking about."

"Didn't you send me red roses?" I asked.

"Ugh… I don't think so." He groaned a little, probably from moving. "Did you get flowers?"

"Yeah. Someone sent me a vase of red roses," I told him, "and I just assumed it was you."

"Secret admirer maybe?" he said.

"Yeah, that's weird."

"That's not weird. Who wouldn't want to admire you? You're beautiful."

I laughed. "Castle, how many drugs have you taken?"

"Uh… I forget."

I bit my lip as it formed a smile. "Maybe you should go to bed."

"Yes," he said. "You too, Beck. Goodnight."

"Good night."

I was still laughing as I walked back to my couch. I picked back up my bowl of ice cream which was a little melted, but I liked it better that way, and flipped through the channels. I didn't pay much attention to the TV. A question kept running through my head.

Who had sent me the red roses?


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey! Here is chapter six. I actually wrote this chapter jamming out to Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, and Mumford and Sons. LOL... They weren't very inspiring since Taylor swift only sings about Boys and Katy Perry only sings about Sex and Mumford and sons... well who knows what they sing about.. caves I guess.. LOL**

**I love reviews, so you can give me one if you want. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. :)**

* * *

><p>"Are you really asking to investigate Castle's hit and run?" Gates asked. She looked at me almost in disbelief. I was sitting in the chair in front of her desk.<p>

"I know I'm a homicide detective but-"

"You have a fresh case that is begging to be solved, Beckett. I would advise you to just stick with that." She put her glasses on and looked at a paper. That was my cue to leave, but did I leave? Oh, of course not.

"Sir, I know Castle. I think it would be easier for my team to investigate this. And the man murdered in the park may be connected to Castle's hit and run."

"That is just conjecture, Detective." Gates put the paper down and slid the glasses to the tip of her nose.

"I still think it would be best if I investigated his case. I know him better than anyone else." I was pushing it and I damned myself for that, but I knew what I wanted.

"I make the rules, Detective. You, Ryan and Esposito will be staying on the John Doe murder."

"Sir." I was almost going to get on my knees and beg like a dog. Almost. "Couldn't you have Karpowski's team take it over? I know they've just finished their previous case."

"Beckett, you aren't going to leave me alone until you get his case, are you?"

I bit my lip. "Probably not."

"Okay, fine. But don't expect to get your way all the time," she told me. as she picked up the phone to call someone. "Now, go solve his case. I'm giving you a week."

I walked out of her office and shut her door. "Guess what we got boys?" I said as I walked over to their desks.

"She went for it?" Ryan asked.

I nodded.

"What did you tell her?" Esposito rocked back in his chair and propped his feet on his desk.

I knocked them right back off. "I just worked my magic," I said, twirling my fingers.

"What's that? Kiss ass?" Espo said putting his feet back on the desk.

I rolled my eyes at him and walked to my desk.

"So, what are we going to do first?" Ryan asked. They were experienced in homicide not attempt at homicide. But how different could it be? I wondered if taking this case from someone that was actually experienced in this kind of case was a mistake. I dismissed that thought. I couldn't doubt myself or Ryan and Esposito. We would figure this out.

I called Castle to ask if he could get his fan mail to his apartment in an hour. If we were going to be reading it, it might as well somewhere that smelt good. Anyway, Castle had to stay home for a little bit and I thought he should look with us.

* * *

><p>I knocked on Castle's apartment door exactly an hour after I called him. Esposito and Ryan stood behind me. Espo was holding two freshly bought large pizzas. I didn't think the four of us would be able to finish off two pizzas, but they just had to get them.<p>

We stood there for about a minute before Castle finally answered the door. He was still in the same sweatpants from the previous day when he had fallen over. He was wearing a hoodie that said "I should be writing".

"Yo," Espo said. "Bro, I think you look worse than yesterday, if that's even possible."

"Yeah, I know. I couldn't sleep that well last night." We walked in and Espo went and set the pizzas down in the kitchen, followed by Ryan.

"Did someone bring the fan mail over?" I asked.

"What there was of it. Gina said it was all of it from up until four months ago."

"I guess that's better than nothing." I walked to the table behind Castle as he limped.

"The doctor never told me something happened to your foot." I motioned towards the foot that he was limping on.

"Oh, it's no big deal. He said it was just a sprain." He sat down in front of three containers full of mail that I noticed for the first time.

"This is a lot of mail! I thought you said it was from only four months ago?" I sat across for him and picked up an envelope.

"What can I say? My fans love me."

I laughed. Not as much as he loved himself. "Do you remember that first time we looked over your mail?"

"Ah, yes," Castle said as he picked up a letter, too. "I hardly knew you back then."

"And now you know so much about me?" I asked dubious.

"Oh, I do."

I was going to give him a retort back, but then Espo and Ryan joined us each with plates that were stacked with pizza. They handed me a plate with one piece and Castle a plate that was stacked like their own.

"You are really going to eat all of that?" I asked and motioned towards their plates.

Espo shoved a piece in his mouth and nodded. Sauce dripped from his mouth onto his shirt.

"You guys are disgusting."

"Ah, son of a-," Esposito said, with a mouth full of pizza. He tried to wipe it away but it only made it worse.

"You can borrow one of my shirts," Castle suggested. "But the sleeves might be a little loose on your arms."

"Oh, whatever, bro." Espo said, as he unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. He still had a white under shirt on, thankfully, because it would have been a little weird if he hadn't. He flexed his arms. "I think it would be a little tight."

"Do all guys fight about whose arms are bigger?" I asked.

Espo smirked. "And other things."

I shook my head and threw a letter at him. He picked it up and opened it as he laughed.

"Don't get sauce all over the letters like you did your shirt, okay?" I picked up a letter myself and opened it.

Most of them were the same thing. How much they loved his writing. How sexy he was. Blah, blah, blah. We had some laughs at some that were obnoxious or stalkerish. But we still hadn't found any threatening ones and we had been looking for over two hours. If we didn't find anything, Gates was going to chew my ass off.

"Dear Richard Castle," Esposito read, in a weird voice. "I love your books but mainly you. I saw you walking the other day on the sidewalk. I tried to get your attention but you must not have noticed me. You should come and visit me. I'm married but my husband won't mind…" Esposito and Ryan burst out laughing.

"Dude, you have crazy fans." Ryan started to open another letter.

"Some of them are great." Castle looked over at me and shook his eyebrows at me. I playfully rolled my eyes. "But yes, some are crazy, which is why I don't really read these. Someone else usually reads them and then sorts the good ones from the bad ones, and then I usually read the good ones."

We all went silent as we each started to read another letter. "So," Ryan broke the silence, "we should go to The Haunt tonight."

"I can't drink with the medication I'm taking."

"Never stopped me when I was injured back in the day," Espo said, as he threw the letter on the table like he was already fed up with reading mail.

"Bro, didn't you get extremely sick though?" Ryan asked.

"Not as sick as you usually get from drinking the hard stuff. Dude, you can't hold anything down."

"I'm Irish. My body was made to hold the strong stuff."

"Yeah? Then what about that one time about a year ago when you spent the night in the bathroom throwing up?"

"Food poisoning."

Espo gave him a doubtful look.

The apartment door swung opened and we all looked. I was half expecting it to be the one who had tried to kill Castle. I flinched, almost grabbing my gun. It was just Martha.

"Mother, I thought you were out with friends?"

"We just went out to eat," she said, as she walked into the kitchen. "What are you kiddos up to?"

"We are just looking at some of Castle's fan mail, Ms. R," Esposito said.

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting."

"Oh, no. It's fine," I assured her. "The testosterone levels were getting a little high."

She laughed as she poured her self a glass of wine. "Well, I will be up in my room practicing my lines."

"Mother, you didn't tell me you got the part." Castle turned around so he could see her, moaning in the process. "Ow."

"Yes, I did, Richard. You must have been too high on your drugs to remember."

"Well, that's great. I'm proud of you."

Martha kissed Castle on the cheek as she passed by on her way to the stairs. "Have fun,"

* * *

><p>Trying to solve Castle's case was not fun. We didn't find anything that could have been consistent with someone wanting him dead. We even started looking at his financials. Why? Who the hell knows? We just had to find something. Something. But we hadn't, and it was pissing everyone off. Castle said it was fine, but we all knew he wasn't okay with it. And why the hell should he be? The person that had tried to kill him was still out there and we had no idea who it could be. And Gates was beyond pissed. She even told me that she knew it was a mistake to give me his case. That she didn't think we could figure it out. That we weren't trained for this kind of thing.<p>

Hours, days were going by and we weren't figuring out a damned thing. I was even starting to think Gates was right. That me taking this case was a mistake. And that thought was pissing me off.

On the bright side, Castle was getting better. His bruises were still dark, but he said he was feeling better and he didn't have such a bad limp.

It was Thursday, two days since we had looked through Castle's mail and Castle had insisted on taking me out to eat. He said it was a fancy restaurant that he hadn't been to yet and he wanted to try it out. We never established if this was exactly a date or… whatever else it could be considered. Okay, this was definitely a date. That thought made me smile.

* * *

><p>I was just about done getting ready. I was putting the last touches of my soft pink lip gloss on in the bathroom. When I had finished, I took a step back to see if I looked acceptable. I was wearing a short white dress that was classy yet sexy at the same time. My hair was in perfectly aligned ringlets the flowed over my shoulders. At the last minute, I decided to put it half up so I was looking more classy than sexy.<p>

I went and sat on my bed to slip my feet into my black heels that had taken me about an hour to choose. I smiled to myself as I examined them. My toes peeked out with red glossy nail polish on them.

I heard a knock at the door and my stomach was an acrobat, flipping and turning. I don't know why I was so nervous, excited, or whatever I was; it was just Castle. I saw him every day. It was no big deal. I felt like a sixteen-year-old going on a date for the first time.

I swung the door open and, again, like Monday night. no one was standing there. I looked down and saw a white card lying on the ground. I bent down to pick it up.

I opened it to reveal nothing but a single red lopsided heart. I flipped it over to check if there was something on the back, but there was nothing.

I looked down the hallway to see if there was someone there. But it was empty. I walked towards the stair case doors. I slowly pushed the heavy metal door open. My heart rate was going up and my palms were turning sweaty as the door squeaked open. But the stair case was empty. I couldn't hear the echo of anyone going up the stairs or down. I sighed and turned around, running into someone in the process.

I automatically went for my waist where my Sig would have been, but obviously it wasn't there. I almost drew back my hand to punch him, but then saw that it was just Castle.

"Holy crap! Were you about to punch me?" he asked, as he took a step back out into the hall way.

"You snuck up on me!" I exclaimed defensively.

He was about to say something but then stopped when he saw what I was wearing. His eyes melted into goop. His mouth parted a little. "Wow.. You-you look marvellous," he stuttered.

I smirked. "You don't look half bad either." I straightened his black tie. He couldn't help himself; he grabbed me and brought me close for a deep, sweet kiss. His breath was fresh and minty and it made me want to kiss him harder, if that was possible. I pushed him up against the wall and ran my hands through his hair. I didn't care if he got mad about me messing it up, I needed something to grab onto.

I pulled back when I heard someone walkout of the elevator. It was too late, because they saw us. It was Mrs. Bronson. A forty-year-old woman that lived across from me. We had never really got along. One time she called the cops on me. I don't think she realized that I was the cops. I apparently had my TV up too high, when I didn't even have my TV on at all.

She gave me a dirty look before she ushered her seven-year-old daughter into her apartment.

"Evil Bronson?" Castle asked.

"The one and only." I had complained to Castle about her one time when she kept stealing my newspaper.

"You ready to go?" He asked as he looked at his watch. "Our table is reserved for eight."

"Yeah. I just have to grab my purse and jacket." I walked back into my apartment and went to my coat closet. I fingered through them until I found my black one and slipped it on. I didn't even realize I was still holding the card until I picked up my purse. I threw it on the counter next to the red roses that were almost dead. Almost.

* * *

><p>He sat a few tables away from them. He didn't take his eyes off of them unless one of them glanced his way. He tried not to look too conspicuous, sitting at the table by himself.<p>

He had actually been really lucky to get this table, since he had no idea where they were going and hadn't make a reservation. It really wasn't what you know but who you know. Or how much money you have.

Kate started to laugh at something Richard said. It made him mad. He gripped his fork tighter. His knuckles turned white. His breathing started to get heavier and his heart was beating faster and faster as he grew angrier.

Kate playfully pushed Richard. His lip started to twitch. Richard should not have been sitting next to her. It should have been him with his hand on her bare knee, sliding it back and forth on her thigh.

Why wasn't Richard out of the picture yet? He wanted so badly to kill him. He itched for it. He wanted his heart to stop beating, for him to stop breathing. All he had to do was say the word and he could easily have him killed. Why hadn't he? Because he was the one that wanted to do it. To pull the trigger of the gun. To thrust the knife in his heart. To pull the rope that was wrapped around his neck tighter. He wanted to see the life leave his body. He burned for that feeling. And very soon it was going to be fulfilled.

* * *

><p>We walked out of the restaurant into the cold night. We walked slowly next to each other, enjoying the other's presence, not wanting to spoil the moment by talking.<p>

Castle put his arm around me and I didn't resist. Not like the last time I did, either, but, this time, I leaned into him, absorbing the heat that radiated off his body. I hadn't felt this comfortable in a man's arms in a while. Surprisingly I felt safe for the first time since I was shot. It was uncanny, because I didn't think I was going to feel the way I did now ever again. The feeling filled my heart. It warmed my soul.

I looked up at Castle. I think he could tell something had changed from my eyes. He smiled and cocked his head sideways curiously. I kissed him on the cheek. I shook my head which said that it was too hard to explain, but I'm sure he understood. He knew me all too well.

It started to snow. It wasn't just a light snow. It was coming down in quarter size clumps. I reached my hand out palm up to catch a flake or two. When they landed on my warm skin, they melted automatically.

I looked up at Castle again and smiled like a child.

He bit his lip and smiled back, saying that he could be a child too. He threw his head back, opened his mouth wide and stuck out his tongue to catch the snow.

I started to giggle but I did the same. This was all taking place in the middle of a sidewalk. Not exactly vacant or overcrowded, but there were a few people. And I'm sure they were giving us weird looks. I didn't care though. It was too much fun.

We finally started to walk again after catching only one snow clump; I guess I was out of practice from when I was little.

"Do you want to catch a cab or walk?" Castle asked me, as he put his arm around me again.

"I don't mind walking." I gave him a smile. I didn't remember ever smiling this much before.

"Aren't your feet cold?" he asked, motioning towards them.

"My feet never get cold," I told him.

"I still don't understand how you run, let alone walk, in them."

"It's all about balance," I told him. "I could teach you if you want."

"Yeah and maybe you could let me borrow one of your dresses, too," he said sarcastically.

I laughed and held his hand that was wrapped around me. We walked towards my apartment as it snowed around us.

* * *

><p>I invited Castle up to my apartment for hot cocoa. I would have suggested wine but he still couldn't drink it. I told Castle to sit on my couch as I made the hot cocoa. As I made it, there was this annoying beeping that was coming from my answering machine, indicating that I had a voice message.<p>

I hit play so it would stop. "_Hey, Katie. It's Dad. I just wanted to talk. We haven't talked in a while. I'm sure you are working or busy. I was thinking maybe we could go out to eat this weekend. Speaking of this weekend, your cousin Mary Beth asked me if she could spend the weekend at your place. I told her that it would be okay. I know you aren't very fond of her but she really likes you and I think it would be great for you two to bond. Who knows the last time you guys saw each other or even talked? She said that she will be there Friday night. But anyway, give me a call later. I love you. Bye._" The machine beeped, saying that was the end.

My eyes were wide with terror. Mary Beth would be spending the weekend at my place. My dad was right; I wasn't very fond of her. She annoyed the crap out of me. She was a twenty-seven-year old who apparently looked just like me. Long legs, brown, wavy hair, big hazel eyes.

Castle broke the silence. "Who is Mary Beth?"

I groaned. "My horrible, ditzy cousin."

I brought his hot cocoa to him and sat down next to him.

"We all have one of those," Castle said, as he sipped his hot cocoa.

"Does the horrible, ditzy cousin have an even more horrible, ditzy cousin?"

"It's a never-ending, vicious circle."

"Do you have a horrible, ditzy cousin?" I asked.

"Nope, my mom was an only child."

I nodded and sipped on my hot cocoa. "Well, then you have no idea what it's like."

"Well, can't I met her?"

I was shaking my head before he even finished asking. "No. You don't want to meet her. Not like I'm going to let you, anyway."

"Come on, it would be fun," he assured me.

"No."

He left it at that, knowing that he would meet her in the end.

I turned on the TV and skimmed through the channels. There was never anything good on.

"So, what did she do to you that makes you not like her so much?" Castle looked at me with a cocked eyebrow.

"I never said I hated her."

"You didn't have to. It's written all over your face and you pretty much did actually say that. Even your dad said that."

"She just has a personality that is unlikable." I tried to focus my attention on the TV. It was some cheesy sci-fi show.

"You are a horrible liar, you know that, right?"

"Oh, whatever." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Spill," he ordered. "It's something juicy, isn't it?" He turned his body so he was facing me.

"Castle…" I said, annoyed and hesitant.

"I will tell you anything in return."

"You are such a child!" I opined.

He smirked and shrugged, agreeing with me.

I bit the inside of my cheek and deliberated if I should tell him or not. I finally sighed loudly. "A few years back she was visiting me and we were really good friends back then. Well, I guess not such good friends. I was going to go to my current boyfriend's place at the time. I had a key because we were dating for a year, I walked in and who do I see naked together on his table?"

Castle mouth dropped open. "No."

I

laughed at his expression. "Yeah. It was bad. She tried to apologize as I ran out. I should give her credit, though, because she tried coming after me with only the welcome rug covering her. She didn't leave the apartment building though, so I guess not that much credit."

Castle chuckled. "That's horrible."

"I know. I didn't talk to her for two years after that. But it wasn't only her fault. I gave Jared a kick in the balls, though."

"Really?" he asked.

"More verbally than physically."

"That's too bad. It would have hurt like hell and then if you consider your legs in the equation."

I set my hot cocoa on the table and faced him. "Okay, it's your turn. Spill."

"Well, I don't really have anything to 'spill'."

I tilted my head sideways and gave him a dubious look. "Nothing?"

"In fifth grade I ate a worm."

"Come on, Castle, everyone does that. I want something juicy." I gave him a mischievous look.

"Wait.. You ate a worm in fifth grade too?"

"Castle!" I complained.

"Okay.. Ugh," he said, thinking hard. His forehead wrinkled in thought. "In college, I proposed to a girl, but she said no because she was using me to make her ex-boyfriend jealous."

"How long were you guys dating?"

"A month."

I almost laughed. "And you proposed?"

He scratched his cheek as a smile spread across his lips. "I thought I felt the love… but actually it was just food poisoning."

I held my hand over my mouth as I giggled. "So you guys were done after that?"

"No, I went along with being the boyfriend to get her ex jealous."

"You are such a pushover."

"No, I was a pushover."

"Whatever you say." I bit my lip. "Go get me water."

"Where are your cups?" he asked getting up from the couch. He suddenly stopped mid step. "Really?"

"I couldn't help it. But I do actually want water," I told him. "You can grab me a bottle from the fridge."

He sighed as he walked to the fridge to retrieve two bottles of water. He didn't hand me one, though. Instead, he set them both down on the coffee table as he sat down.

He scooted in close and hovered right over my lips. It made me want to kiss him even more, and I think that's what he was aiming for.

Oh, god. This was it, wasn't it? We wouldn't be able to control ourselves and I would end up leading him to my bedroom. I didn't even know if I was ready for that and who even knew if we would make it to the bedroom.

Oh, Whatever. I quickly closed the distance and met his lips with heat and passion. He kissed back with even more passion. I wrapped my hand around his neck to make sure he wasn't going anywhere. His hands moved to my waist and pushed me down so I was laying and he was hovering over me. I was right. We weren't going to make it to the bedroom.

Suddenly there was a knocking at my door. Castle broke away but still had his mouth an inch from mine. "Should you get that?"

"It's probably no one," I said and brought my mouth back to his. It was probably just another stupid letter and or something, and no one would be there, like the last two times.

But the knocking kept proceeding but louder. Castle broke away again, but farther away this time.

"I think you should get this." He sat up and held out his good hand to let me up.

I sighed loudly, telling him I was displeased with his decision to be responsible. I got up and walked to the door. I pulled it open, expecting to see no one or maybe Bronson, but it was neither of them.

She stood there with a perky smile. Her hair was puffier since last time I had seen her and her teeth were whiter, if that were even possible. Her hot pink shirt was extremely low cut and she wore extraordinarily tight-fitting jeans. She threw her arms around me and squealed, "Katie! I missed you so much!"

I half-heartedly returned the hug, breaking away after a second or two.

"Mary Beth, It's nice to see you, too," I said in a monotone voice. "I thought you were coming tomorrow."

"Oh, I was, but then I decided to come early. I hope you don't mind." She walked in behind me, shutting the door.

Castle got up from the couch and took a step towards us. I pursed my lips. "Mary this is Richard Castle. Castle, this is Mary Beth."

Castle held out his hand to shake hers. "Hello."

She smiled and shook his hand in return. "You're the writer."

"Yeah." I clenched my teeth. I think Castle could sense my distress, because he gave me a sympathetic look.

"He is a keeper," she whispered to me as Castle went to sit back down on the couch. "Hopefully it won't be like last time."

It took every ounce of self-control not to smack her over the head.


	7. Chapter 7

I sat at my desk and rubbed my temples, trying to push away the pounding headache. I tried to get my mind off Mary, but she was just so much in it that I couldn't push her out. Her annoying high pitch echoed in my head, taunting me and making me cringe.

I sighed and tried to focus back on my paper work. I picked up my pen as Gates opened the door to her office. She didn't look happy.

"Beckett," she called out to me. "I would like to talk to you. In my office. Now."

I gulped. This was bad. This was really bad. I knew it was about Castle's case. It had to be. What else could it have been about? She was disappointed in me. Who knew what she would do? Put me on traffic. No, she couldn't just waste an excellent detective on traffic.

I hesitantly got up from my chair and walked to her office, cringing at every step. I walked in and shut the door behind me.

"Yes, Sir," I said, almost intimidated.

"Castle's case; have you found anything?" she asked, not really paying attention to me as she searched for something under the papers on her desk.

"Well, not entirely," I told her, still standing by the door for safety.

"Define 'not entirely'."

"It is exactly how it sounds," I told her, as I shifted my weight from my left foot to my right.

"And why is that?" she asked, looking up at me.

"Well, we haven't found the motive yet."

"And any suspect for that matter. What are Esposito and Ryan doing at the moment?"

"They are talking to the people that publish his books and his agent."

"I thought they did that yesterday."

I bit my lip, feeling frustrated. She was making me look like a fool. But the thing was, I was a fool. "They are talking to them again to see if they missed anything."

"They should have done a thorough job to begin with."

I tapped my foot on the ground, trying to keep my cool. "They are just tying up loose ends."

"How can they be tying up loose ends when there are no ends to be tied up? You haven't found anything and it's almost been a week."

"I know… It's just that-"

"No, Detective. You haven't found anything and I'm pulling the case from you early."

"You promised a week," I said, stepping forward a little.

"And you said you would solve this damn case. Looks like we both lied."

"This is not fair," I said in a stern voice. God, I sounded like a child whining because someone got more candy than they did.

"There is a fine line between fair and reality. I just gave you reality. We are done here." She looked back down at her files in front of her and started writing.

I bit my tongue before I said something I would regret. I walked out, slamming the door after me. She was right that I wasn't getting anywhere, but I still had a few days. We were almost there and then she just took the case right out from under us.

I went and called Espo. I told him that we were off the case and to come back before Gates flipped out about that, too.

I sat at my desk, frustrated that I couldn't focus on my paper work. The headache was gone but it was replaced with anger.

I looked up as I heard someone walking towards me. I smiled when I saw Castle. In one hand he was carrying two coffee cups, one of which had my name written all over it. In his other hand was a brown lunch paper bag.

I gave him a questioning look. "What's in the bag?"

He sat down in his chair with his dorky smile that tickled my stomach. "The best thing ever."

"That's a little small for the person that ran you over, wouldn't you say?"

"Okay, second best thing."

"Which is?" I asked.

He dug his hand in the bag and pulled out an apple and an orange.

"Are you sure that is the only thing in that bag?" I leaned over to see in the bag for myself.

He ignored me. "Do you want the apple or the orange?"

"Why?"

"Have you ever eaten an apple or an orange with a frown?"

"Yeah, plenty of times."

"Doubtful. Now, which one?"

I sighed and bit the inside of my cheek to stop me from smiling. "Fine. The orange," I said.

He smiled triumphantly and handed me the orange.

I started to peel it and a knot formed in my stomach. "Castle..." I hesitated. "Gates took us off the case." I was scared to look up at him to see his reaction.

"Maybe it's for the best."

My head whipped up to look at him to see if I had heard him correctly. "Are you saying that I couldn't solve this case anyway?" I asked baffled.

"No. What I am saying is that maybe we are all just too close to this case to solve it. Maybe we should just let it go," he said softly. "It's fine, Kate. Really it is."

"I want this guy behind bars though."

He nodded agreeing with me. "We all do." His mouth turned into a smile as he bit into his apple. "See you can't eat it with a frown."

I smiled myself as I bit into a piece of an orange, feeling better. Maybe he was right. Maybe we were all just too close to it, blinded by it.

* * *

><p>I was surprised that we didn't get a call about a dropped body. And a little disappointed because it meant that I would be going home early tonight and I was dreading that. I wasn't in the mood to see or even hear Mary.<p>

Castle left an hour ago after Alexis called him. He said that she missed him and he wanted to be with her as much as possible before she went to college. He was going to be a nut when she was gone, which would mean that he was going to be here more often. I didn't know if I was worried or excited about that. He was a great help; hell, he was an amazing help, but he did get on my nerves once in a while.

My hand froze and my stomach contracted when I saw her walk off of the elevator. "Oh, god no," I whispered to myself.

"Katie," she called to me, waving.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. I looked over at Esposito and Ryan. They were both looking at me in interest. Espo's eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw Mary. I would have to smack him over the head for that one later.

"Well, you must have locked your apartment. I was trying to get in and your landlord was no help whatsoever."

She was right. I did lock my apartment hoping she wouldn't get in and maybe leave, but that was a stupid plan because all of her things were still inside. I should have put them all in the hallway.

_Okay, Kate, let's mature a little_ I thought to myself.

I sighed. "I'm almost done. Can you go find something to do for about an hour?"

I didn't realize Esposito and Ryan had come over there until they were standing a foot away. "Sup," Esposito said.

"Mary, this is Esposito and Ryan. Guys, this is Mary Beth, my cousin," I said with clenched teeth.

"I didn't realize how attractive cops were," Mary giggled.

I was not amused whatsoever, but Esposito and Ryan were. And what the hell, Ryan was married. He shouldn't even be looking at her.

"I didn't realize Beckett had a hot cousin," Esposito remarked.

"This is not happening," I mumbled to myself.

"Ryan and I were just going to get drinks-" Espo started.

"We were?" Ryan asked, totally not getting the hint.

Esposito elbowed him in the ribs. "Do you want to come with us?"

"Can I talk with you guys? In private? Now," I ordered getting up from my desk and walking to the break room, as I grabbed onto their arms and dragged them behind me. I shut the door after I pushed them. "You are not inviting her to go to go to the Haunt."

"Why not?" Espo asked. "Because I think we were, actually."

"Well, you're not, because she is a blood-sucking parasite that is trying to take over my life."

"She seems nice," Espo said with a goofy look as he looked out the window.

"You are not taking her," I ordered in a stern voice.

They made eye contact and nodded. "Okay. We won't, but you have to finish the rest of our paper work."

"Are you serious? The both of yours?"

"Yeah, or we are going to get wasted with Beckett the Barbie and who knows what else."

I gave them a threatening look but they both stood there smugly. "I hate you guys."

"Deal or no deal?"

"Fine. Now go tell her that you are busy."

* * *

><p>When I had finally finished all the paper work, my hand was aching and the headache that I had had earlier was back. I ended up just giving Mary the key to my apartment when I realized I was going to be there longer, so she would leave me alone, I guess it was the right thing to do. But she had better not be doing crap on my table or anywhere else in my apartment for that matter.<p>

I didn't want to go to my apartment. I didn't want to see her again. That might seem childish of me but I didn't trust her anymore. She used to be my best friend but she just turned around and betrayed me, and plus, she was kind of ditzy and annoying.

I stood on the sidewalk in front of the 12th Precinct, debating where to go. I finally decided to just go home.

Since it was warm I decided not to grab a taxi and just walk home. Half way there, I had a strong need for a sweet, steaming hot cup of coffee. I walked into a café that was still open and ordered the usual. I ordered a multigrain muffin and decided to stay and eat it at the coffee shop.

I sat at a small table in the corner and read a magazine. I didn't realize someone else had sat down at a table nearby, until I heard the ruffling of a paper. I couldn't see his face because the newspaper was blocking it, but I could tell that he was older and had money because of his gold Rolex watch. There was just something about him that wouldn't let me take my eyes off of him. I wondered what his story was. Why he was at a café at nine at night. Why he was in this café in particular.

I started to feel fatigued. Something that coffee just wasn't going to fix. Fed up, I threw my coffee and half of the eaten muffin away and left. But, before I did, I couldn't help but look back at the man that was sitting at the table.

* * *

><p>X<p>

He couldn't believe that she had actually looked at him, no, stared at him. He got butterflies in his stomach. He wanted her so badly. And now maybe she wanted him. It didn't matter to him if she wanted him or not, because he was going to get her either way. He would steal her in the middle of the night with not a sound made. He would slip into her bedroom, gently pick her up, not stirring her and take her away into the night. Take her from the corruption of the world; take her from the evil that was boiling up trying to eat away the beauty of good.

He would take her to his cabin that was deep in the woods and he would make love to her over and over. He would tie her down if he had to. And, maybe, one morning she would wake up and realize that she loved him as much as he loved her and they would have a happily ever after like in the fairy tales and the Disney movies.

He smiled to himself. Maybe he wouldn't have to kill Richard after all. But he dismissed that thought as soon as he thought it, because he wanted to kill Richard. Not that he had to, but simply because he wanted to.

* * *

><p>I walked into my apartment and straight to my bedroom. I kicked off my high heels and slid out of my clothes to change into pajamas. It was the best feeling in the world, after a long day at work, to change into something warm and comfy. I walked back out of my room to get water and almost ran into Mary, who was standing outside my door.<p>

"Whoa!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I just wanted to ask you something."

"Okay." I walked to the kitchen with her following behind me. I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. "Do you want one?"

"No, thanks," she declined.

"Okay, so what's your question?" I opened the water bottle and took a swig.

"Why do you hate me?" she asked and then started rambling. "I know what happened a few years ago made you mad but I said I was sorry and-"

I almost choked on my water. "Mary, you slept with my boyfriend! Do you honestly think sorry was going to cut it?" I started to walk back to my room, hoping she would leave it at that.

"But everyone does stupid stuff. Can't we just move on? Forget it even happened?" She followed me back, hardly leaving a gap between us.

I ran my hand through my hair, irritated. "Mary, I was in love with him. I actually wanted a future with him but you came waltzing in and took him from me. I don't think I can ever forgive you for that."

"But look what it got you. You are dating a famous novelist. You can have a future with him. It was kismet." It seemed like she was trying to justify what she did.

"I'm not dating Castle and I don't even believe in fate," I told her. "The only thing I believe in right now is that I'm tired and I want to go to bed. So, goodnight." I went to my bedroom and slammed my door shut.

Maybe she was right. Maybe if I had never caught them things wouldn't be how they were now and I kind of liked 'now'. What if I had married Jared, because now that I think of it, I was sure Mary wasn't the first girl he had cheated on me with. You know how that phrase goes: "once a cheater, always a cheater." Maybe she had unintentionally saved me.

All those things still didn't make up for the fact that she knew I was dating him and slept with him anyway. She did wrong and she had to have consequences.

My good conscience spoke softly in my head. _Don't you think ignoring her for years is equal to those consequences?_

I told myself to shut up as I slipped into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>I was woken up by an annoying ringing in my ear. I grumbled to myself as I reached for my cell phone on my nightstand.<p>

"Beckett," I answered, as I flipped my lamp on.

"Duty calls," Espo replied.

"You have got to be kidding me. It's like two in the morning," I complained, as I checked the clock. "Please tell me it's, at the least, interesting."

"Interesting doesn't even begin to explain it."

"I'm listening."

"So this seventy-year-old man was shot in his apartment. Wasn't found until a week after his death because he never paid his rent. The owner personally goes in to his apartment and finds him half eaten."

"Not-ah."

"I'm not lying. His dog actually ate him and chewed on his bones like they were a treat."

I got out of my bed and started changing. "That's disgusting."

"So much for Man's best friend."

"Text me the address and I will be on my way," I told him and hung up.

When I was finished getting ready, I snuck out of my apartment, trying not to wake up Mary. I had already called Castle, but spared him the details, because I loved to see the excitement on his face in person. I wondered if this case was going to have any effect on him getting a dog.

I took a taxi to the address and met Castle at the door.

"Do you think murderers could hold off murdering until the sun rises?" Castle said, as we walked into the building.

"I don't think murderers consider the detectives that investigate the murder, and, anyway, the victim has been dead a while."

"He has been dead and no one noticed?" Castle pushed the button of the elevator. It dinged and the doors opened.

"It happens all the time". We walked in and I hit the button for level 13.

"Well, that explains it. He lives on the thirteenth level," Castle said, as he hit the button again.

"Your point?"

"The number 13 in unlucky."

"So, you're saying he was murdered because he was living on the thirteenth floor of this building?"

"I'm saying that living on the thirteenth floor gave him bad luck which caused his murder," Castle explained. "It's weird because a lot of buildings usually don't have the thirteenth floor. Usually they just skip it or have it as '12A' or 'M'."

"But wouldn't it still be the thirteenth floor?"

He ignored me. "Did you know that triskaidekaphobia is fear of the number 13?"

"Why does it not surprise me that you would know that?" The elevator dinged and the doors opened. I stepped out and looked back at Castle who hesitated. "Seriously? You're afraid?"

"Remember last time I was cursed?"

"Suit yourself. And here I thought you would be excited over a victim that was eaten," I said, as I started to walk again. It took a second for Castle to catch up with me.

"Did you say eaten? Like cannibalism?"

"Maybe," I lied.

"Awesome!" Castle exclaimed morbidly.

I flashed the cop my shield and walked into the apartment. I walked to Lanie as she stood next to the body that was already in the body bag.

"Do you have specific time of death?" I asked, skipping the formalities.

"Looks like George Michaels was killed around Monday. But, once I get him back to the lab, I will have a more accurate TOD." She bent down and started to unzip the bag.

"Was he really eaten by someone?" Castle asked.

"Yes, but by his dog, not by a human, you sicko."

"How was he murdered then?" Castle asked.

"Bullet to the head. It looks like a .45 caliber." She uncovered him.

"It's not a dog eat dog world, but a dog eat owner world." Castle smiled at me, finding his joke amusing.

"Really?"

Espo and Ryan walked up to us. They didn't look in the least happy. "Neighbors hardly even knew him. They said he was like a ghost. They didn't see him leave or come in, didn't even hear him move around."

"Well, let's find his next of kin and solve this damned case."

* * *

><p>It was eight o'clock. I was still exhausted and the five cups of espresso hadn't seemed to help much. Castle seemed bored with this case. All he did was sit in his chair and play around with his cell phone, probably playing Angry Birds. Every ten minutes he would let out a bored sigh.<p>

"Castle, if you are really that bored, you can go home," I told him after his fifth sigh.

"Nah, I have been home too long in the past week and, plus, I have a checkup in an hour."

"Don't you want to spend time with Alexis?" I asked.

"You honestly think she is up at this time on a Saturday? Am I getting the impression you are trying to get rid of me, Detective?"

"That sighing thing you do every few minutes is driving me crazy."

"I think you need more coffee." Castle said, getting up and heading to the break room.

My phone started to ring. I was sure it was Lanie with a few more details.

"Beckett," I answered.

"Hey, girl."

"What have you got for me?" I asked, as I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper in case I had to jot something down.

"It looks as if Mr. Michael was murdered somewhere between six and eight Tuesday."

"You're sure? And no one heard a gunshot that early in the morning."

"That's not my job to figure out, but that's not it. It looks as if the murderer was standing within a foot of him."

"So, pretty close. Okay, thank you, Lanie."

When Castle came back to his spot with two freshly made coffees, I shared the information I had just got with him.

"Seems as if he knew the murderer well enough for the killer to get that close, and he must have had a silencer," Castle mused.

"Maybe we can get something from his daughter," I said, motioning my head towards a woman in her late twenties being ushered into an interview room.

Castle checked his watch. "I should probably leave. I don't want to make the doctor wait."

"Yeah, he might screw up your prescription on purpose." I stood and grabbed a file.

"I will be back later." Castle started to leave.

"Castle, wait," I called. He turned around to face me. "I think Ryan should go with you."

"Beckett, there is no need; I haven't had security on my place in a few days and I'm still alive."

"Wait, you haven't had security for a few days now? Are you sure?"

Castle shrugged like it was no big deal. No big deal. It definitely was a big deal! Someone was out there that wanted him dead and he didn't have security on his apartment. What if someone got into his apartment building and... and...?

I was enraged. I strutted to Gates' office and pushed my way in, not even bothering to knock. She looked up at me, confused and alarmed. "Can I help you with something?"

"There is no security at Castle's place anymore."

"And your point is..?" she asked me.

"Someone tried to kill him. Someone out there wants him dead and he was thrown to the wolves." I walked a little closer to her desk.

"Not entirely, Beckett. A patrol car drives by every hour or so. I don't think he is in harm's way, and we don't have enough officers for someone to stay at his place the entire night."

"I think there should be."

"Are you volunteering?"

"I... No, that's not..." I sighed defeated.

"If that's all, I'm a little busy."

I pursed my lips and I left.

* * *

><p>After a boring day of only one person of interest, who ended up having an alibi, I went home to find Mary sitting on the couch. It seemed like she was waiting for me.<p>

"Katie," she said getting up.

"You're still here."

"Yeah, that's why I was waiting for you." I looked over and noticed that all her stuff was packed and her makeshift bed that consisted of two blankets and a pillow was neatly folded and piled on top of each other.

"I'm going to just stay in a hotel for the rest of my stay. I get it, I'm unwelcome here and I don't want to invade you. I really am sorry for what I did before, and I hope maybe someday you will find it in your heart to forgive me."

I felt like a monster, a horrible, evil, monstrous monster. She honestly was sorry for what she did and I just wouldn't let it go. I wouldn't just forget about it.

"Mary, you don't have to leave," I told her. "I thought about it and, well,-" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "-I forgive you. I get it that it was a mistake and it happened a long time ago. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Really?" she asked. Her eyes brightened up and a smile formed on her lips. "Katie!" She came over and hugged me tightly.

"But it doesn't mean that we can be the best of friends again," I said, as I awkwardly patted her back and tried to take a step back.

"Oh, right!" She took a step back. "Remember when we would paint our nails and talk boys."

I laughed. "Oh, yes. Our favorite topic." I walked to my bed room and threw my purse on my bed and kicked off my high heels.

"And with Maddy. Those were some good times."

My cell phone beeped. It was Castle. _Do you want to come over? Alexis went out with some friends and Mother is gone. I'm lonely._

I replied that I would love to.

"Well, I guess I'm going out again," I told her, as I opened my closet to look for something to change into.

"Well, that works out perfectly, because I was going to meet up with some old friends in an hour."

"Have fun," I said as she began to shut my door.

"You, too."

* * *

><p>I promised myself that this would not be <em>the<em> night. I didn't care how much I wanted it, it wasn't going to happen. It had to be the perfect moment. I had to know for sure that I was in love with him. And thanks to the tip from the movie "Return to me", I didn't shave my legs to make sure I kept my jeans on. God, that sounded horrible. It made me sound like a slut. I couldn't help but giggle to myself.

I left after ten minutes because I didn't want to give the impression that I would go running at his every word, even though I kind of wanted to.

I knocked on his door and it wasn't a second before it swung open to reveal an incandescent Castle.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked, as I stepped in behind him. I pulled off my coat and hung it on the back of a chair.

"Do you want to play Scrabble?" He picked up the box of Scrabble. "I don't know if you will be able to beat me since I'm skilled and it is pretty much my profession to know words."

"I don't know; my mom and I would play almost every Sunday, and I would pretty much win every time."

"You're on." He had this mischievous smile. "We could make it interesting and play Strip Scrabble."

"No. And that wouldn't even work." I grabbed the box from him and put in on the kitchen table. "Don't go crying to Mommy when I win Castle."

"Psh. This is going to be like taking candy from a baby. Simple."

When Castle said he was good, he meant it. He used words I would have never thought of. He used the words indolent, enervate, and occlude. Who the hell uses these words? But at least I put up a pretty good fight.

"I won fair and square," Castle pronounced. "So, now you have to do whatever I tell you."

"Really? Is that in the directions?" I asked.

"If you give me a minute, I could easily add it in with a Sharpie."

"You know, it's getting kind of late and I should get home," I said, as Castle started to lean in slowly, very slowly. His breath engulfed my face and pulled me in. I gave him a sweet, passionate kiss but then pulled away.

"You don't have to leave," Castle almost begged.

I cocked my head to the side. "Oh, but I am."

He pouted out his lip bottom lip. "Please."

"Those puppy eyes have no effect on me," I told him. I pinched his cheek as I got up.

"Ah, come on, Beckett, we can watch a movie or something."

I sighed and pursed my lips debating. "Fine, but only one movie and then I'm leaving."

Castle smiled broadly taking my hand to lead me into the living room. "My puppy eyes work for everyone; got me out of a speeding ticket once."

"I thought you said the 'Jason Bateman' thing got you out of a speeding ticket once."

"Yeah, that too, even though I don't even look like him."

"I can kind of see it, but you have better eyes," I said staring into them.

"Beckett, are you giving me a compliment?" Castle asked, shaking his eyebrows.

I elbowed him as I walked in ahead to pick out the movie. "You are kind of narcissistic."

"Only on my better days-"

"-which, let me guess, is every day."

"You said it."

I gave him an annoyed smile as I pulled out the movie "Life as we know it". I loved this movie and it kind of reminded me of us. Well, I guess not entirely.

* * *

><p><strong>HEY! So, it's Sunday and guess what tomorrow is. New Castle and an Episode that I'm Super excited about! <strong>

**And today is the super bowl! To bad the packers aren't in it. Maybe next year. **

**Well, have a great day and week. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey you guys and gals! I know this chapter took a while, i was just swamped with stuff. **

**But thank you for reading :) I appreciate it.**

* * *

><p>My eyes blinked open to the sound of the credits playing at the end of the movie. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep.<p>

I looked up to see Castle smile smiling over at me. "You know, I don't think you lasted ten minutes in the movie until you fell asleep."

I sat up and craned my stiff neck, rubbing it. I must have laid on it wrongly, because it was kind of sore. "Sorry."

"Don't worry. You are adorable when you sleep. You make this soft sigh every fifteen seconds."

"Well, thanks… I guess, but I should probably go." I looked at my watch. Ouch, it was almost midnight. "I'm exhausted."

"You can sleep here." His eyes formed into those big, blue puppy eyes.

"Your doggie eyes aren't going to work this time." I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the practically invisible scar next to his eye. Before I could lean away, he grabbed onto me and pulled me into his lips for a sweet kiss.

I pulled away after a second, even though he was still fighting for my lips. "Castle, I've really got to go."

He sighed. "Can't you just stay for a little longer? We can just talk."

"We can talk tomorrow."

"Please."

"You can walk me home," I offered as I stood up and stretched my stiff limbs.

"Walk?" he asked.

"How about half way and then we can grab a taxi the other half?"

"The things I will do for you…" He got up from the couch shaking his head, but he still had a smile on his face.

It was extraordinarily warm to be a night in February. I looked up at the sky, trying to find stars but they were drowned out by the city lights. That was a thing I hated about the city; there was no sense of outdoors.

"I never fully apologized for looking into your mother's murder without your consent," He looked over at me as we walked side by side on the sidewalk. He looked down at me, truly looking apologetic.

"Yes, you did."

"Well, I was full of drugs then, so, I don't really think that counts," he claimed. "It was a horrible secret to keep, and I'm sorry."

My stomach turned uncomfortably. He wasn't the only one keeping a secret. I felt an urge to tell him, to get it off my chest.

"Castle…" I hesitated, feeling nervous. I swallowed hard. I kept my head down and eyes focused on the side walk. My hands turned clammy and my throat tightened, so you could hardly hear me when I spoke. "I.. well… when I was… shot…I…"

"I already know."

My head snapped up to him. "You know?" I asked, a lot louder than before.

"Remember when your PSTD hit you really hard?"

I nodded, cringing at the memory.

"Well, you called me crying that night and, of course, I came running."

I was so shocked I couldn't even speak. I had no recollection of him coming over or even me calling him. I was suddenly worried.

"You were bleeding and had a high blood-alcohol level, which is probably why you don't remember. I cleaned your cut and cleaned up the glass, but you kept sobbing. I didn't know what to do, so, I tried to calm you down. Then you started to mumble nonsense, which turned into, 'I lied to you Castle, I lied to you.' I had no idea what you meant. I thought it was just drunk talk but then I realized it wasn't. You said, 'I remember what you said.' And of course I knew what you meant. But it's okay, I understand."

I was almost numb. He had known this whole time that I knew what he had said, that I had lied to him. I felt sick, I wanted to vomit. I wanted to get away from him and hide under my blankets.

I didn't feel relief. Why wasn't I feeling relief? Because I knew that I had hurt him. I knew that he ached for me and I pushed him away and I kept doing it. His pained face flashed in my mind, when I pretty much kicked him out of my hospital room. It hurt me just as badly as it hurt him.

I should have just told him from the beginning. It was stupid and cowardly not to have told him the truth. I was a coward, a stupid, idiotic coward.

I think Castle could sense my distress. He lifted my chin up with his index finger, so I would look him in the eyes, but I looked away anyway. "Kate, I understand. I get it."

"How can you understand when I don't?" Tears were starting to fill my eyes. I finally looked up at him, not being able to not look him in the eyes. They radiated understanding and love, but, of course, I didn't see it that way or just ignored it.

"You were just shot, you had a boyfriend, you weren't ready for a commitment, and you were doing it for your own sake. I understand and, even if I didn't, it wouldn't matter because you obviously feel guilty about it, it obviously affects you," he told me in a stern but still soft voice. "I understand," he whispered.

I pulled away from him. "I need to get home," I turned and waved for a taxi. It pulled over to the curb. "Bye, Castle," I said as I practically ran to the taxi.

"But, I thought...," he said reaching out for me.

I hopped in the taxi. I gave him the directions and he started to drive away. I looked back at Castle who was still standing in the middle of the sidewalk, watching the taxi drive away.

I was such a coward. I kept running from my problems, running from him. When was I going to realize that I needed to be running towards him?

* * *

><p>The next two days went by fast with suspect after suspect not leading anywhere until the end. Apparently, George had owed a lot more money than he couldn't afford, which was why he filed for bankruptcy years back. The man, Alrow Jenkins, had lost thousands from him, but the twist of the case was that Alrow wasn't the one to commit the murder; it was his twenty-three-year old son, Smith Jenkins, who finally got the courage to confront George and things turned bad.<p>

The murder wasn't committed out of love. It was a selfish act. Smith needed money and his father didn't have it, and so he blamed George for that.

* * *

><p>I was finishing the last of my paper work when Castle walked over to my desk and sat down. We still hadn't talked about Saturday night, and I could tell it was eating him up. But I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to face it. I just wanted to forget about it, and pretend it never happened, but Castle, apparently, had different plans.<p>

"Can't we just talk about it?" He whispered so no one would hear.

"There's nothing to talk about." I kept writing, not even bothering to look at him.

"Oh, come on, Kate!" He spat out, obviously angry. "Stop pushing me away."

"I'm not pushing you away," I shot back.

"You're not pulling me towards you, either."

"Maybe that's not what I want. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe I don't want that kind of relationship with you," I hissed loudly, my voice laced with venom.

I didn't wait to see his reaction. I got up with my purse and coat in my hands and walked away. It felt like I was doing that more and more often lately, walking away from things that I, actually, wanted.

* * *

><p>I sat on my couch, watching a movie and eating ice cream with sprinkles. It was surely needed. I watched 'Pride and Prejudice', the only movie where I cried every time.<p>

I gasped when my apartment door opened. Mary walked through, smiling. She was leaving today, thank God. We were getting along better now, but it didn't mean that she still didn't annoy me.

"What ya up to?" she asked, as she plopped on the couch next to me. "Pride and Prejudice? This is my favorite movie!"

"Really?" I asked surprised. She didn't seem like a Pride and Prejudice type of girl, but, then again, neither did I.

"I'm sure every girl out there likes it. How can they not? You like it."

"How long are you staying? You can join me. Ice cream is in the freezer," I offered.

"Oh, I would love to, but my dad will be picking me up in a few minutes." She checked her cell phone. "Oh, I guess he is here now… I should go, before he gets impatient."

We embraced. "This was… fun," I said, as we pulled away.

She laughed. "Next time I should probably give you a bigger heads up."

Next time?

I laughed. "Yeah, that would be nice."

She got up and grabbed her bag that was next to the couch. "See you later, Katie." She waved goodbye and then left.

Who knows? Maybe we could be good friends like we used to be, but I highly doubted it.

* * *

><p>There was a knock at the door and I slowly but surely got up from the couch to answer it. I hit pause on the movie and pulled open the door. Castle stood there, looking angry.<p>

"Kate, why are you being so fickle?" he asked, walking in, not bothering for me to ask him in.

"Well, hello to you, too," I said, shutting the door, trying to lighten the mood.

"You want me and then you don't want me. Then you want me and then you don't? Kate, do you want me?"

"Castle, what the hell?" Then it hit me. It literally hit me, well, kind of. His breath was fortified with the smell of alcohol. "Have you been drinking?"

"I went out with Ryan and Essssposssito," He told me.

"Castle, you smell horrible!" I said, placing my hand over my mouth.

"I did throw up outside in front of your building." He started to rub his forehead. "Can I get sssome water?"

I hesitated for a moment. "Ugh… Yeah." I went and fetched him a water bottle and found him sitting on my couch.

He took it and took a sip.

"Do you want me to take you home? Or I can call Alexis or Martha?" I offered.

"No, no. I don't want them to ssee me like this." He rubbed his forehead again. "Can I get some Advil?"

"It's dangerous to take it with alcohol," I told him. "Are you sure you don't want me to take you home?"

"Can I just stay here?" he asked, and then his face changed from pain to oh-crap. He quickly got up from the couch and ran to my bathroom. He must not have had time to close the door because I could hear him pretty well.

When I knew he was done, I walked in. He was leaning against the wall with his eyes lightly closed, and his face was really pale. I turned on the cold water and grabbed a washcloth from the linen closet. I got it wet and rang it out. I slowly got to my knees in front of him and dabbed it lightly against his forehead.

"Are you always like this?" he asked.

"Like what?"

"I came here to yell at you, to take charge, and you end up taking charge, like always," he smirked.

"Well, it is kind of my job description, and I do like it."

"Control freak."

"With someone I can't control."

"I meant what I said before though," he said.

I stopped holding the wash rag to his face. "What's that?"

"You are really fickle."

"It's called being a woman."

"Did you really mean what you said earlier?" he asked, finally opening his eyes to look at me. They were fogged with worry. "That you don't want that kind of relationship with me?"

"Castle…"

"Because, I want that," he said. "I have wanted that since I first saw you, and I don't want you to be the one that got away."

"Castle… I need time. I can't just jump in head first into the three foot deep pool. I will get hurt, you will get hurt, and I don't want to hurt you anymore. I have to test the water first."

"I thought that's what you have been doing."

I took a deep breath and pressed the washcloth to his forehead again. "I'm trying."

He smiled and put his hand over mine. "And I'm grateful for that."

* * *

><p>I made a makeshift bed for Castle on the couch, as he called Martha and texted Alexis that he wasn't going to be home that night.<p>

"You never finished your movie," Castle pointed out.

"It's fine, I've seen it a trillion times."

"I never would have guessed you as a Pride and Prejudice type of girl," he said as he sat down on the couch with a playful smile.

I narrowed my eyes. "I'm going to go to bed and, remember, Castle-"

"Yes, I know, you sleep with a gun."

I winked at him. "Just making sure you remembered."

* * *

><p>My eyes opened to the door opening and a silhouette standing in the door way. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes. The person in the door way didn't move; it seemed as if he wasn't even breathing, just standing there looking at me, hoping I didn't see him.<p>

"Castle?" I asked.

He didn't say anything. There was no sound, nothing but the tick of the clock and my heavy breathing and pounding heart. I fumbled for the lamp, trying to keep my eyes on the figure in the door way but I couldn't find the switch. I turned my head for a second to turn on the lamp with a shaking hand. When my head whipped back towards the open door way, no one was there. I almost sighed in relief but then felt a strong hand wrap around my throat. I tried to scream and pull away from the man that was in my bed, but he was too strong. He was pulling me into the darkness with him and it was getting harder to pull away.

The man's features transformed from a man I had never seen to Montgomery. I started to scream harder until I was woken up by someone shaking me and then hushing me.

Castle whipped back my hair that was stuck onto my forehead from perspiration. He sat on my bed, holding me in his protective embrace until I stopped sobbing.


	9. Chapter 9

I was sitting at my desk doing paper work when Castle called me. I reached for my phone and answered with a distracted voice as I kept writing.

"Kate, come outside," he ordered.

I stopped writing. "What? Why? I thought you were going out with Alexis for the day?"

"Yeah, Alexis is with me," he said, but I could barely hear him from the wind that was blowing into the phone. "We have something to show you."

I sighed as I hung up. I grabbed my coat and headed to the elevator to meet Castle and Alexis outside.

When I exited the 12th, I saw them standing against the building facing away. I walked closer to see what they had to show me. Castle turned around to face me with a leash in his hand. I followed it down with my eyes until it was connected to a beagle puppy with over-sized brown ears and big, black, round eyes. It was adorable.

"You got a puppy!" I squealed like a little girl.

"Detective Beckett, this is Zeus," Castle declared with a smile. He leaned down and scooped up the dog. Zeus excitedly started to lick Castle's scrunched up face. He wiped away the slobber with his shoulder.

"Did he come with that name?" I asked, as I scratched Zeus' head.

"No," Alexis answered and rolled her eyes at her father. "I wanted Scooter, but he had to have the name Zeus."

"He looks more like a Zeus than a scooter," Castle proclaimed. "Couldn't you see him overthrowing his father?"

"Wouldn't you be the father overthrown?" I asked

Castle pursed his lips as he thought about that. "Maybe we should go with Scooter."

"I knew you would break," Alexis said and took the puppy from her father. "And now I know what your secret weapon is." Alexis smiled at me and I winked back.

* * *

><p>I walked back to my desk with a cup of coffee in my hand from the break room. I sighed in delight as the fumes of the coffee swirled up to my nose. I wrapped my cold hands tightly around the mug to absorb the warmth from the ceramic of the coffee cup.<p>

Castle and Alexis still had an appointment at the vet to get the dog checked out so they had to leave right away. I was fine with it anyway, because it's not like Castle would have helped with paper work.

I set my coffee cup on my desk but took a sip of it first. I sat down and picked up a black pen ready to do get back with my paper work.

I looked up as someone walked by. "Hey, Karpowski." I greeted and went back to writing.

"Hey, Beckett," she said casually back and kept walking.

My head flashed back up and I swivelled around in my chair to the direction she was walking. "Karpowski," I called to her.

She turned around and started to walk back to me. "Yeah, Beckett?"

"How has the ice rink case been treating you?" I asked, trying to be unsuccessfully subtle.

"We solved it a few days ago, actually. Why do you ask?"

I shrugged. "I was just curious. So who did it, anyway?"

"The wife's boyfriend. Apparently, it took weeks for the two of them to plan it. The wife made sure she had an alibi when the boyfriend went and did some slicing."

"Well, that's great that you solved the case," I told her and turned back around in my chair. I never would have suspected the wife. Not even in the beginning. I felt- I don't know how I felt, maybe jealous or envious that I wasn't the one to solve the case.

I had answers to one of the cases that I was curious about. I pursed my lips as I debated with myself if I should go and see how the other case was proceeding.

I looked up at Gates' office and saw that she was sitting at her desk, distracted by a phone call. Now was as good time as any, if not better.

I got up from my desk and made my way to the elevator. I hopped in with a few other people and hit the floor number I wanted. I waited patiently until the doors opened at my floor. I got out and looked for the detective in charge of Castle's hit and run, Detective Swanger. I didn't find him, but I did find his unorganized and messy desk.

I looked around to make sure no one was watching me. I tried not to be conspicuous as I flipped open a file that was on top of a stack of files that was sitting in the middle of his desk. A mug shot of a forty-seven year old, clean-shaven man was on top. Marty Bufalow had been arrested for a DWI in 09.

Why in the hell was this Marty Bufalow a suspect?

"Detective Beckett?" I heard from a voice behind me.

I quickly shut the file and turned around to see Swanger staring at me with confusion on his face.

"Detective Swanger,"

He looked down at his desk and the file I was looking at in particular. "Can I help you with something?"

"I wanted to talk to you," I said, as I brushed my hair back.

"About Richard Castle's case," he said.

"Yeah," I bit my lip. "Did you find anything? Any suspects?"

"If there was, I would tell you."

"Well, I saw a guy by the name of Marty Bufalow in the file. Is he a suspect?"

"Nah, just some random guy that we saw on security tapes the same time with Castle. We are ruling it as a coincidence."

"Can I see the tapes?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Sure, I have them on my computer." He went and sat down at his desk and made a few key strokes.

The video played and I watched as Castle walked into a café with me right behind him. It must have been the Sunday when we went ice skating the same day John Doe was murdered.

"Bufalow is right there." Swanger pointed to the screen with a pen.

Marty Bufalow walked in a few seconds after us and went and sat at a vacant table and started reading a magazine. He had sunglasses on which was an automatic red flag that he was stalking someone.

"You said tapes, right? As in multiple?" I asked.

"Yeah, we have a few." he made a few clicks with the mouse and another video started to play.

It was a security video from a street camera. Castle and I were walking with our arms around each other down the sidewalk.

"Bufalow is right there," Swanger pointed again.

Marty walked into view but stopped and leaned against a building, casually lighting a cigar, and that's when I saw it glisten in the street light; a gold Rolex watch.

My eyes widened and my stomach twisted uncomfortably as a thought popped in my head.

"All the videos that you have of Castle and Marty Bufalow, am I in them?" I asked as I swallowed hard.

His forehead wrinkled as he thought about it for a second. "Yeah, you are." He assessed my expression. "What are you getting at, Beckett?"

I cleared my throat. "Ugh, nothing." I looked at my wrist that currently didn't have a watch on it. "Look at the time, I should go."

"I still have two more." he called after me as I quickly walked to the elevator.

"I got to go." I yelled back across the bull pen from him almost to the elevator.

* * *

><p>I took a taxi cab to Castle's loft when I got off work. I kept knocking on his door until he answered.<p>

He was smiling when he opened the door. "Beckett, is there a spasm in your hand?"

"Can I come in?" I asked. I looked behind me like I was paranoid.

"Yeah." He took a step back with the door.

"Castle, is someone considered paranoid if there is someone that is actually following them?" I asked as I walked into his living room and sat down on his couch. I fiddled with the button on my coat.

"Kate? What are you talking about?" He sat down next to me and put his hand on my knee. "Are you okay?"

"I think there is someone following me and I think he was the person that tried to kill you." I was talking way too fast, sounding almost hysterical.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down," he said, trying to calm me. "What are you talking about?"

"I went to talk to the detective that is in charge of your case, Detective Swanger."

"Okay, go on."

"He showed me security tapes with us in them being followed by Marty Bufalow."

"Yeah, Swanger stopped by a couple days ago and asked if I recognized him."

"And you didn't tell me?"

He shrugged. "Keep going,"

"Well, I was in all the security tapes too, and I think I saw him at a café a few days ago. I think he is following me, not you."

"Did you tell this to Swanger?"

I shook my head. "What if I'm wrong?"

"What if you're right?"

"I have never even talked to Marty Bufalow before. Why would he be stalking me?" I asked.

"Remember when you called me because you thought I got you flowers?"

My mouth fell open. How could I have forgotten the creep secret admirer crap that I got outside my door? What if it was Marty that was sending it there? Then he would know where I lived and when I was home.

Usually a stalker knows that kind of stuff.

"Have you got anything lately?" Castle asked.

I shook my head. "The last time I got something was the time we went out to eat. It was a card with a red heart on it."

"Have you seen Bufalow lately?" Castle asked.

I shook my head again. "I don't think so… But I don't know… because I never thought someone was following me… I never thought I had to check."

"Maybe he really isn't following you," Castle offered as a suggestion.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just overreacting." It seemed like I was doing that a lot lately, overreacting. Even though something in my gut was telling me I wasn't overreacting, I ignored it and tried to believe what Castle was suggesting.

"Maybe you should tell Esposito and Ryan anyway."

"And tell them what?" I asked.

"Exactly what you told me," he said. "I think you need to."

"I will tomorrow." I told him.

"And I think you should tell Swanger also."

I shook my head no. "I need more evidence before I tell him."

"And how are you going to do that?" Castle asked.

"By doing my job."

"Yeah, too bad you're off the case."

"Why do I get the feeling that you don't want me looking into this?" I asked clenching my teeth.

"Because I don't want you to get hurt," he said in a strong, but somehow gentle voice. "You are running into this blindfolded."

"I'm not blindfolded," I assured him. "I'm going to be fine."

He gave me an almost sad look. "I sure hope so."

* * *

><p>Castle walked me up to my apartment with his good arm wrapped around me. I unlocked the door and walked in first with my hand resting on my Sig, ready to pull it out if needed.<p>

What was wrong with me? I shouldn't be so freaked out by this. It seemed like Bufalow wanted me to be paranoid and by me being paranoid, I was letting him win.

"Do you want me to spend the night?" Castle asked, as he flipped on my living room lamp for me.

"No, you should go home. It seems like I'm taking you from your family." I pulled off my coat and went to my coat closet to hang it up.

"Are you just worried what it looks like?" he asked with a mocking smile.

I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see. I slipped my coat on a hanger and shoved it in the closet with the rest of my coats. "And don't you have Scooter to take care of?"

"Oh, yeah. He does need a bath."

I smiled at the thought of Castle leaning over the tub to give Scooter a bath. I pondered that thought when I thought of Castle getting drenched in the process. I almost giggled.

I turned around as Castle checked his watch. "Well, it's only seven thirty…" He trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

I bit my lip trying to hide my smile. "Castle, do you want to stay over for a little bit?" I asked in a sing-song voice.

"I don't know-Yes."

"Would you like some ice cream?" I asked, as I walked to the kitchen.

"That sounds wonderful," he replied. There was a knock at my door and Castle cocked his eyebrow suspiciously.

"I got it. The ice cream is in the freezer, if you can grab it," I told him. I walked to the door and took a deep breath before opening it with one of my hands resting on my Sig. It was only a boy in his early twenties, standing in the hallway, holding a medium-sized brown package.

"Ugh, package for Katherine Beckett," he said.

I frowned. "I didn't realize you delivered this late."

He shrugged, handed me the extremely light box, and left. I carried the box into the kitchen and set it on the counter. I took a step back and just stared, examining it.

"What do you think is in it?" Castle asked.

I shook my head. "I don't know."

"Do you think it's from Bufalow?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to open it?"

"I don't know." I sighed. "Hand me that knife," I said pointing to a knife holder next to the microwave.

He handed me the biggest one like he thought evil creatures would jump out of the box and I would have to kill them with it. I delicately sliced open the box down the seam. When it reached the edge I set it on the counter next to the box and slowly lifter the flaps.

"Well?" Castle asked anxiously.

I pulled the brown, crumpled paper out of the box and gasped.

"What? What is it?" Castle asked practically begging for me to tell him.

I lifted the box at an angle to show Castle what was inside. He face features stayed neutral at first, until he realized what it was. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped loosely.

Lying inside the box was the tail of a dog, in particular, the tail of Scooter.

"Alexis," Castle whispered. When he said his daughter's name, it woke him up. It was like I could see the adrenaline flow through his face, in his blood stream. And that's when he started running, and, not a second later, I was at his side, in a mad dash to get to his loft.

* * *

><p>We were in a taxi and Castle was frantically calling Alexis, but it was just dumping to voice mail. "Come on! Come on!" his voice was on the edge of hysteria, on the verge of plunging over.<p>

"Can we drive a little faster?" I asked as calmly as I could to the driver.

The driver didn't say anything, but gave me a nasty look from the rear-view mirror.

I looked over at Castle. I'd never seen that look on his face before. It was like he had lost all sense of the world, like he had one thing to do and nothing was going to stop him. I could tell that the only thing that was stopping him from bursting into tears was that he didn't have time for that. He had to get to Alexis. He had to help his daughter, the person that meant the world to him.

As the taxi came to a stop because of the traffic, Castle whipped the door open and started to run down the sidewalk.

"Castle!" I called to him but it was hopeless "Ugh!" I pulled two twenties from my pocket, threw them at the driver and ran out of the car after him.

I felt bad for running into people but I had no time to apologize. If something had happened to Alexis, I didn't want Castle to be alone. I had to keep up with him. And if there was still someone there in his apartment, I didn't want him to get hurt.

Castle ran into his apartment building, passing the elevators, straight to the stairs, because he didn't have the patience for it. I was hot on his heels as he sped up them. I almost kept running up the stairs when he pushed the door to the floor that his loft was on.

Castle went to his door and tried the handle, but it was locked. He felt his pockets as he furiously searched for his keys. "Whatever!" he shouted right before he kicked his door open with a power I've never seen in him before.

I grabbed onto his shoulder before he could enter. "Castle, let me go in first."

He looked as he was going to argue, but then nodded. I held my gun up ready to take on whatever came at me, as I whipped around each corner. I walked up the stairs with Castle right behind me. "What bedroom is hers?" I whispered.

He pointed to the first door on the right. I stood with my back flat against the wall. I motioned for Castle to stay where he was, but who was I kidding?

I pushed the door open and saw Alexis with her back to me as she sat at her desk. I lowered my gun. "Alexis?" I asked.

When all I heard was a hum I knew something was wrong. I lifted my gun back up and steadily walked to her closet, because it was the only place someone could hide in her room. When I was a foot away and reaching for the door handle with my left hand and my gun still in my right, the door flew open and a man crashed into me, sending me flying into the wall where I knocked off a picture. It went shattering to the ground on top of me.

When I looked up, I saw Castle running in and tackling the guy. I wildly searched for my gun that had fallen out of my hand and gone skidding somewhere.

I saw that Bufalow had managed to get on top of Castle. I momentarily forgot about my gun and went at him. He threw back his elbow drawing back to punch Castle and he inadvertently smacked me hard in the nose, which sent me back again.

I looked to my left and saw my gun lodged between the wall and the bed. I wedged my hand in trying to pry it out. When it finally came loose, I could feel a warm sticky sensation running over my mouth and down my neck soaking into the collar of my shirt.

I tried wiping it away with the back of my hand, but there was too much of it. I stood up and pulled back the hammer of the gun which made a click. Bufalow stopped midway to Castle's face.

I opened my mouth to speak and in doing so, blood flowed into it. "Go for it. I was always curious what brains looked like splattered all over the wall." I pushed the gun into his head.

"Good one," Castle said with a dopey smile on his face.

"Put the gun down or I will put a bullet in your boyfriend's heart."

I looked up to see a younger version of Marty Bufalow standing in the hallway pointing a gun at Castle. I took a step back and lowered my gun to the floor. I held my hands in the air showing defeat.

"Let's be adults about this," I offered.

"Oh, shut up," spat the man in the hallway.

"Adam," warned Marty, as he got up from straddling Castle. He bent down to pick up my gun and when he straightened back up he closed the space and smelt me right below the lobe of my left ear. I tensed up and clenched my teeth. He sighed, "You smell like lavender." He laughed as he walked away to where Adam was standing.

I looked over at Alexis. "Alexis? Are you okay?"

She nodded.

I looked back over at Marty and Adam. "What do you want?"

Marty smiled. "Don't you know?" he asked. "You. I want you." I think he could tell Castle was up to something, because his gun whipped down pointing at him. "Don't you dare move, lover boy."

In the faint distance you could hear sirens of the police approaching.

"Dad, I think someone called the cops," Adam said nervously.

"Who called them?" Marty hissed.

"I did," I said. "I called them."

"I don't think we are going to have time to kill the writer the way you want to," Adam pointed out.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Marty snarled. "Tape up Kate; I will take care of Mr Castle."

He pulled a knife out from a bag on the ground.

"No!" I cried. "I will go with you, just leave him alone. Please. I will cooperate, I promise."

The police sirens were getting louder and I knew Marty was running out of time. He thought about it for a second and sighed. "Adam, tie up Richard. We have to leave now." He walked towards me. "Give me your handcuffs."

I shakily pulled them out from the pouch that was on my belt and handed them to him.

"Turn around and put your hands behind your back."

I did as I was told and was handcuffed with my hands behind my back. Marty grabbed me by the arm and started to pull me out of the room. I looked back at Castle as he was being duct taped to the foot of the bed.

"Kate!" he called to me.

"Shut up!" Adam yelled at him, spit hitting his face.

"Castle!" I called back. "It will be okay, I promise."

"Kate, I love you! I love you, Kate!" he started to pull and thrash from the bed trying to save me, trying to be my hero, but the thing was, he was already my hero. The realization hit me hard, almost knocking me to my knees.

I almost started crying. "I know, and I-" But before I could get my final words out, Adam whacked Castle so hard over the head he blacked out. "No!" I screamed as I was basically being dragged out of the room and down the stairs. "Castle, I love you! Castle!"

"I thought you said you would cooperate?" Marty hissed in my ear. "If you don't, I will go up there and slit the throat of Mr Castle and his daughter."

"Okay," I whispered.

"Adam! We have to go now!" Marty yelled, pulling me towards the door. I wanted to fight back, but I just went with them, not knowing when I would see Castle again.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, as you can see my story is coming to an end. I might have one or two more chapters at the most. <strong>

**I hope you are enjoying it. :) Well, leave a review if you want. **

**-Freaky**


	10. Chapter 10

I sat in the back of a car with leather seats as it hummed silently down the road. A black pillowcase was placed over my head, so I couldn't see anything. We were driving for so long, I didn't even know if it was night or day any more. The cuffs, that were still holding my hands together behind my back, were digging into my skin agonizingly, making them bleed. I could feel the trickle of the blood as it flowed down my fingers and dripped onto the seat.

I took deep labored breaths, as I thought of what was next to come; either he would take me to torture me and then eventually he would kill me, or, worse, he wouldn't kill me. I didn't want this to end up being an SVU episode.

He was going to rape me, I just knew it. The way he looked at me and talked to me, it was like he had known me my whole life, like he was in love with me my entire life. My stomach was queasy and I felt like throwing up; bile bubbled in my throat threatening to erupt.

When the car suddenly stopped, my breathing became even more labored, causing the pillowcase to puff in and out with every inhale and exhale.

"Katherine," Marty spoke softly. "We are stopped at a gas station, would you like some water?"

What the hell is wrong with this man?

"No," I croaked, showing that my mouth and throat were parched.

He sighed, but left the vehicle, shutting the door softly.

This was my chance to escape. First thing first; I had to get the pillowcase off my head so I could see. I tried rubbing my head against the head rest. No such luck. I whipped my shoulders forward and then quickly backwards, throwing back my head, hoping the momentum would make the pillowcase fly off. Light peeked through as it came up, but fell back down. I tried it again and again until the edge of the pillowcase settled on top of my head, leaving me only having to shake it off.

I laid out flat on my back across the seat, bringing my legs up above me. I rocked back and forth as I tried to swing my cuffed hands out from under me so I could get them in the front. I finally got my hands under my bottom and then under my knees. I sat up as I pulled my legs through my cuffed hands. They were covered in dried blood and stinging from the pulling and yanking.

I dived for the door, pulling on the handle so the door would open. It was locked. I fumbled for the unlock button but it wasn't doing anything. I thrust my body into the door as I pulled on the handle. Nothing. It must be child proof. I tried the other back seat door, but got the same results.

I crawled into the front seats and frantically tried those doors, but they were all locked from outside.

My breathing was frenetic as I made my way back to the back seats. I started to bash my hands on the window hoping I could break the window. When my hands started to ache on the third bash, I lay on my back and kicked at the window. I heard a crack which motivated me to kick faster and harder.

I stopped when I heard the door unlatch and open. "What the hell!" Marty yelled, red faced. If he was a cartoon, steam would have been blowing out of his ears.

I kicked him, aiming below the belt, but missing and ending up kicking him on his thin. He took a staggered step back, giving me the opportunity to squeeze between him and the door. I made a run for it towards the store of the gas station. Maybe the clerk would be able to help me. Hopefully he had a big shotgun under the counter like they do in the movies.

I was steps away from pushing the door open, but it only seemed like I was inching there in slow motion. My legs weren't moving fast enough. I probably had two seconds before he would be tackling me to the ground or grabbing me by the hair.

I was wrong, I only had one second. Arms wrapped around me, hugging me in a tight embrace. "What do you think you're doing?" he hissed in my ear. He swung me around and started to drag me back to his car.

I looked around the vacant parking lot trying to find someone, anyone, to help me. "Help!" I yelled, even though it was hopeless. No one would hear my pleas. Everything was hopeless. I was hopeless.

He shoved me back in the car and grabbed my shoulders shaking me, as if it would make me listen better. "Do you want to go in the trunk? That's exactly what I will do if you keep this shit up! Do you understand?"

I didn't respond and just looked at him.

"Do you understand?" he screamed.

"Yes," I said clenching my teeth.

He stuck his hand in this pocket of his dark blue jeans and pulled out the keys to my cuffs. He unlocked them. "Put your hands behind your back." When I didn't move, he aggressively nudged me. "Put your hands behind your back."

I did and he locked them back on my wrists even tighter this time. He slammed my door and got back in the front.

He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot in a hurry. He pulled onto Interstate 22 going west.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"We will be in Ohio in an hour," he answered honestly.

It took a second to settle in. "Ohio?" I almost shrieked.

He looked back at me for a second with his black beady eyes. "Yes. It's where my cabin is. It's where we will be living."

"I think you should bring me back to New York. You don't want to do this," I told him.

"Katherine, we are meant to be together," he objected.

"I don't know you."

"Katherine-"

"Stop calling me that!" I yelled, angered.

"That's your name, isn't it?"

"No one calls me that,"

"Your mom did."

My mouth fell open as I gasped.

"You see, I know you."

I shook my head. "No, you don't! I want to go back. I want to go back home."

His knuckles turned red and then white as his grip tightened on the steering wheel. "Why? What was so great about your life? Your days were spent working. You had no social life, besides Lanie. You were so engulfed with your work you didn't even realize Richard was in love with you from a month after meeting you. What was so great about that? Huh?"

"Stop! Stop talking like it's in the past!"

"It will be." His knuckles loosened.

"No, it won't. You're a delusional psychopath."

"Do you want to know how I know you?" When I didn't answer he kept talking. "You arrested one of my sons several years ago."

I shook my head. "You're lying, I would have remembered."

"Matthew Bufalow murdered his mother, pure evil matricide. I hated you at first for putting him in prison like he was soulless. I wanted to kill you at first, but then I got so obsessed over you I fell in love. You reminded me so much of my wife."

I did actually remember that case; it was one of my first. A woman was slaughtered a few blocks from her house. It was gruesome and disturbing. A few days later we had enough evidence to arrest the victim's son. It looked like psychopathic ran in the family.

"You. Don't. Know. Me," I hissed with clenched teeth that ground into each other so hard they were about to shatter.

"I know that you were a huge fan of Castle before you met him. Every night before you went to bed you would read a favorite part in one of his books that you book mark, you still do."

I shook my head. "You're disgusting,"

"You'll get used to me sooner or later," he said matter-of-factly.

"I would rather die!" I spat at him.

"But I would never harm you, I love you."

I was about to object, but felt the bile flood into my mouth. I leaned over and vomited on the floor between my feet.

* * *

><p>The car turned onto a bumpy dirt road that was surrounded by trees and wildlife. There was a thick layer of fog hanging in the air. I looked at the clock that was on the dash board to see the time. It was eight in the morning. Every part of my body ached from either sitting too long or the position I was sitting in.<p>

"They're going to find me," I said sternly.

He looked back at me in the rear view mirror. "Who are?"

"My partners. They will find this place that you are bringing me to. They are probably on their way now." I taunted.

"Doubtful."

"You're underestimating them. They are very smart men."

"Oh, I know that. The cases you guys solve, very impressive." ," he approved. "But what I mean is that they won't find this place, because it's not under my name. It's actually not under anyone's name. Runs on a generator, you pump your own water, stuff like that. Hardly anyone knows about it."

I slumped back in my seat. "They will get here and put your ass in prison,"

"I'm doubtful of that too. I have a high distaste for prison."

I scoffed. "You think you're going to get away with this? You're a fool."

"I'm actually-" he slammed on the brakes, trying to avoid hitting the deer that stood in the middle of the road.

My body was thrust forward. I smacked into the passenger seat, smashing my head hard into it. I groaned in pain as I leaned back into my seat. Moments like this, I wished I was wearing my seat belt.

"Son of a bitch!" Marty yelled, smashing his hand into the steering wheel.

He started driving again once the deer ran off the road. I sighed and settled back in my seat. I had to keep him talking; maybe it would distract him, slow him, or something.

"Why did you have to abduct me? You couldn't have just started a conversation with me like a normal person would?" I asked.

"Hah! Like you would have gone for me," he laughed, like he thought it was funny.

He was right though, I wouldn't have given him a second thought. I shrugged. "You never know," I told him anyway.

"I was actually going to talk to you a few days ago when you were walking down the sidewalk. You were so beautiful in your tight jeans and white coat. But as I got closer I noticed it wasn't you. God, she looked exactly like you." He clenched his teeth. "I got so mad. So mad I was almost going to kill her brutally in an alley with a freshly sharpened knife that was throbbing in my pocket practically begging me to."

"You sick freak!" I yelled at him. "That's my cousin! You were going to kill her, because she looked like me? How psychotic are you?"

"I'm not psychotic!" he said defensively.

"Then let me go."

"I can't," he said, as his face changed from white to red as he got angry. "I can't!" he yelled.

This guy had to extremely bipolar. His moods were swinging like crazy, almost giving me whiplash.

He abruptly turned onto a road that branched off the road we were on. I smacked into the door from the momentum of the turn.

I gave up talking to him; I knew I wouldn't be able to negotiate anything with him.

* * *

><p>The car finally came to a stop in front of a small log cabin. I would have thought of it as cute and cosy looking if this was under different circumstances.<p>

Marty turned to me. "I will get you a washcloth so you can clean up the mess you made in my car, okay?"

I didn't say anything, but glared at him.

"Mmkay.." He got out of the car and limped to the cabin. I must have kicked him in the shin harder than I thought. He came back out a minute later with a small bucket with suds spilling over.

He opened the back door and set the bucket down on the floor. "Turn around,." he ordered. He unlocked my cuffs from behind my back only to lock them back up in the front.

"My wrists are killing me. Can you take them off?" I asked.

"If you hadn't run off back at the gas station I would trust you." He slid the bucket towards me, which caused the water to slosh over the edge getting my high heels drenched. "Now clean it up."

I leaned over sticking my hands in the scorching hot water. The cuts on my wrists and hands stung like crazy from the soap. I pulled out the rag and started to scrub the floor of the car between my feet.

It only took a few minutes to clean it up and, when I was done, he pulled me out of the car. I stumbled over my feet, falling to the ground on my hands and knees, as he pushed me towards the house.

He started to yell when I didn't get up after five seconds of being on the ground. "Don't be such a baby., Get up!"

I had to think of something fast. Once he got me in the cabin, the chances of me ever coming back out alive were slim. I looked down at my hands that were stinging from the fall to the ground onto the gravel driveway.

Gravel.

I balled my hands in fists with them filled with gravel. I stood to my feet in a fast, fluid motion and spun around whipping the gravel in his face directly at his eyes.

His hands went to his eyes as he screamed in pain. I round house kicked him in the stomach, which caused him to bend over. I spun around behind him and kicked him in the calf which sent him to his knees. I wrapped my arms around his neck, so the cuffs around my wrist would dig into it.

He grabbed onto my hands and thrust his right shoulder forward, causing me to fly over and onto the ground. He was on me in the next second. He wrapped his oversized hands around my neck and squeezed. I was fighting for air. I tried to pry his hands off, but he was too strong. My hands went to his face as I tried to push him away. I thrust my fingers at his dark, vacant eyes, trying everything to make him stop.

"Ah!" he screamed when his right eye started to bleed. He backed off me, letting me breathe again.

I coughed as air flooded in my lungs. After a second, I tackled him and punched him in the face with my hands balled together a few times.

"Give me the keys!" I screamed at him. "Where are they?" I felt his front pockets and pulled the hand cuff key out, along with the car keys.

I unlocked the cuffs and felt relief. I then cuffed his hands together.

"This just turned around, huh?" I asked as I got to my feet. "Get up!" He listened to me and slowly got to his feet.

"Spread your legs," I ordered. I patted him down making sure he didn't have a weapon on him that he would end up using me. "Let's go!"

I shoved him in the back of the car, only after reading him his rights. I started the car with a smile on my face, which turned into shock as a shot rang out from the house. The back window of the car shattered. I slammed the accelerator. More shots were fired and I looked back in the review mirror to see Adam firing.

The car started swerving uncontrollably towards the trees. I braced myself before the front of the car smashed into a thick tree.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ooophta! Almost down. Just one more chapter to go.**

**Well, I hope you are enjoying it. **

**-Freaky**


	11. Chapter 11

Bullets rang out, hitting the dashboard right above my head. I took a deep breath before I looked up over the seat. Another bullet smashed into the car, making me scramble back into hiding. Adam was getting closer to the car and the bullets were getting closer to my head. I would be dead in matter of minutes, maybe even seconds, if I didn't find a gun.

I opened the compartment in between the seats. I took the CD cases out of it, and then threw them on the ground, hoping to find something under them. Another bullet zoomed just inches past my head, making me flinch.

I opened the dashboard compartment and rifled through the loose papers until my hand came upon a heavy, cold metal object. I smiled morbidly as I pulled out a shiny gun. I pulled the clip out to reveal it was fully loaded.

I looked in the back seat to see the door open and no one there. Marty was on his way into the woods, stumbling over branches.

"Son of a bitch!"

More bullets were fired, getting closer to me. How much ammo did this guy have?

I slipped out of the passenger side door so I would have cover. On my hands and knees, I crawled to the end of the car and peeked around. I estimated that Adam was about twenty yards away from the car. He stopped and took the empty clip out and threw it on the ground, replacing it with a new one.

He started shooting at the car again thinking I was still in the front seat. I took a few deep breaths, trying to slow down my heart. I positioned myself on my knees tightly facing the car, so all I would have to do was lean up a little bit, and, in Castle's words, 'Bam, said the lady!'

I counted to five in my head.

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

I stood up and pulled the trigger three times, hitting Adam Buffalow in the chest every time. He stopped with wide eyes and fell to his knees before he collapsed face first onto the icy grass.

I gasped out. It was always hard killing someone, even if my life depended on it. I should have kept the situation under control. No one should have died. I didn't care that he was shooting at me; a life was lost, because I couldn't keep this f-ed up situation controlled.

I sat down and wiped the sweat that creased my brow. A second later, I remembered that Marty was on the run. I debated if I should find a phone to call the local police or I should just go and find him myself. The old man couldn't get far being cuffed and with the shoes he was wearing… I looked down at my feet and cursed myself. I wasn't wearing anything better than he was. High heels. Wonderful. I never had to worry about running through a fricken forest in New York City.

I got to my feet and ran toward the woods where Marty had entered. Tree branches were whipping me in the face, giving me scratches as I ran. I tripped a few times on a root that was sticking out of the ground. I got back up to my feet but didn't start running again. I held my breath, trying to hear everything around me. All I could hear was the pounding of my heart and the lonely squawk of a bird.

I started forward, but at a slower pace. He was probably going to head towards the road and then walk to the nearest town and steal a car or catch a ride. Maybe I should have called the local police.

I wished Castle was with me. He would have had some crazy idea. I smiled to myself as I thought about him. The way his eyes would crinkle when he smiled or his mouth would part when I would shock him with something.

I wondered how he was doing. If he was still in the hospital or even had to go. My stomach churned when I thought of him getting hit over the head. It kept replaying in my mind over and over. The sound of his pained moan before his head hung there unconscious. But, before that, he told me he loved me. Damn him for always telling me when I couldn't respond, because I didn't know how I was going to act when I got back.

No, I told myself. I was going to act the way I knew I felt. I wasn't going to hide it under excuses and lies. I was sick of it. Lying all the time, being lied to.

When I looked back on the last few weeks, I cursed myself for being so stupid. I shouldn't have treated Castle the way I did. One day I was all about "us" and then the next day I wasn't. That wasn't like me at all. I was usually very decisive. I usually knew exactly what I wanted and went for it; I knew I wanted Castle, so why didn't I just dive in?

I had this deep need to get to Castle and tell him how I had felt this entire time. How I would always feel about him. The need to tell him was so strong, I was almost going to turn around and run all the way back, back to where I was supposed to be. Where gravity was holding me down, keeping me sane. I had to remind myself that that bastard Marty was still out here on his way to freedom.

I heard it before I saw it. The deep whistle of the air when a bat or something little is swung. It was too late when I saw it in my peripheral vision; a branch, a little bigger than a baseball bat, slammed into my gut sending me flying backwards into a tree. I slid down it to a sitting position from the pain in my stomach. I was only on the ground for a second before I was back up on my feet. Marty came out from behind the tree and I pounced on him like a lion would its prey. I pulled the gun out from the waistband of my pants and pointed it at him.

"I shot your son. And if you keep this shit up I will shoot you," I hissed at him.

* * *

><p>I stood on the porch not taking my eyes off Marty. He tried to talk to me, but I told him if he kept it up he was guaranteed to get a bullet in the leg.<p>

I had called the police an hour ago and they still weren't there. I tapped my foot as I waited impatiently.

I looked at Marty's phone that was in my hand and hit redial. It rang and rang until it dumped me to Castle's voice mail. I shoved the phone in my pocket when I heard the tires on the dirt road.

The two cop cars stopped right in front of the cabin and the cops got out, all four of them. One of them took off his aviators and smiled at me. "Detective Beckett, I presume."

"Yes," was the only thing I said.

"I'm Officer Langlee, these are Officers Bart, Marin, and Gaffle."

They greeted me with head bobs and "ma'ams."

"I hear you have.." Officer Langlee paused as he looked at Marty, who was on sitting on the steps, hand-cuffed, with a mixture of dirt and blood on his face. "…a situation."

I smiled without it reaching my eyes. "Yeah. This is Marty Buffalow. He is under arrest for the kidnapping of a police officer, assault, battery, attempted murder, and possession of an illegal gun." I tossed them the gun. "The bar codes are scratched out."

"Did you read him his rights?" Langlee asked.

I shook my head. "I thought one of you could do the honors."

"Is there anyone else here?" one of the officers asked.

I gestured my head to where Adam's body lay. "Adam Buffalow. He's dead."

Langlee nodded to me and turned to one of the officers. "Take her back to the station, get her checked out by a doctor, get her story, and then arrange a way to get her back to New York."

"Detective, if you would come with me I will bring you to the station." It was Gaffle. He was tall, but scrawny, with a dark brown moustache.

How clichéd. I bet he liked to eat doughnuts with sprinkles and drank coffee like it was water.

* * *

><p>I took a very short plane ride back to New York. When I went to get a ticket, the lady asked about my luggage and, when I said I didn't have any, she looked at me like I was crazy. But I didn't blame her; I had scrapes and bruises all over my face and was wearing a coat that had "Police" in big bold letters on it that an officer had given me.<p>

When I exited the terminal, the first two people I saw were Esposito and Ryan. I stopped making people angrily mumble and walk around me. I smiled broadly and felt like hugging them.

"Hey, Beckett," Ryan said. "Nice to see you alive."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, you too."

"But really?" Espo said. "We had to do all your paperwork. Next time take your vacation at a better time."

I nodded. "Ohio is horrible this time of year, anyway."

Under all their unsympathetic jokes, I knew they were truly glad I had made it back okay. And that was when I realized one of our little gang wasn't here.

"Where's Castle?" I asked.

They both shrugged. "Still in the hospital."

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"Just a bad concussion,"

"What about Alexis?"

"Not a hair out of place," Espo told me.

"And Scooter?"

"Who?" Ryan asked.

"The dog."

"Oh, yeah. The dog is fine. But missing a tail."

* * *

><p>I lightly knocked on Castle's door. When I heard a soft "come in," I pushed open the door with a big smile on my face. Ryan and Espo had never thought of telling Castle that I was on my way back. So, Castle had no idea it was me.<p>

His eyes bugged out of his head and his mouth fell to his lap. "Kate?" he asked.

I bit my lip and laughed. "Hey, Castle," I said casually.

"But… I thought… you were.. They took… What?" he stammered.

"Calm down. I'm fine. Everything is fine… Are you fine?"

"No, stop. What happened?"

I pulled up a chair to the edge of the bed, took his hand in mine and explained what had happened. I spared a few details for his sake.

When I finished, I scratched at my bandages that were tightly wrapped around my wrists. He pulled my hand and pushed up my sleeve to see for himself.

"I thought you weren't hurt."

"It's nothing, Castle."

"He hurt you." He put his hand over my wrist as if he could heal it by touch.

"It's fine. I'm fine," I reassured him.

He brushed my hair back. "I thought you were gone."

I shook my head. "I would never leave without saying goodbye."

"I meant what I said, you know, before…" He stopped not knowing how to say it. "… he took you, that I love you."

I nodded, pulling my hand away from his. I leaned forward and pressed my palms to his soft, flushed cheeks. "I know, I knew. I just didn't realize I knew all this time-"

He softly spoke."So, you didn't know that you knew and now you know?"

I hushed him. "But the thing that I realized that I should have known, was how much I love you. Castle, I love you so much and I always will."

"Always?" he asked.

I smiled and whispered, "Always," before I leaned in all the way to kiss him softly on the lips.

* * *

><p>I walked arm in arm with Castle as we took a casual walk in Central Park. Scooter trotted at the end of the leash, in front of us, wagging his stump of a tail happily. I leaned my head on Castle's shoulder, enjoying the moment.<p>

Everything was back to normal. Well, if you could call it normal. Everything was how it was supposed to be. Castle and I were officially together. Alexis was in a college that was a twenty minute walk from Castle's loft. Espo and Lanie were a couple again. The other day Castle, Ryan, and I had gone with Esposito to help pick out an engagement ring. Jenny and Ryan had just found out that they were 8 weeks pregnant. Castle was trying to get them to name it after him. He wasn't having much luck with that.

All was normal in the world, well, besides the exotic murders that we had once in a while. But we were all happy. Everyone was happy, and I could finally start enjoying life to the fullest with Castle at my side to enjoy it with me.

**The End. :)**


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